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Machines Quotes

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Machines Quotes

“I don't know. I don't have a fax machine, so I didn't get that message.”

Knows Basketball Messages Machines Lakers Fax Fax Machines

Author:Shaquille O'Neal

“Sage advice? If you're drunk, stay away from the phone. You can't get the answering machine message back.”

Ifs Advice Messages Machines Phones Drunk Sage Answering Machines

Author:Janeane Garofalo

“Do you ever leave a message for somebody and the answering machine cuts you off, and you have to decide whether you should not call back, or call back and appear like a stalker? "Hi. It's me again. I forgot to tell you that I'm going to kill you. Because I'm the freak who keeps calling and calling."”

Should Funny Comedy Cutting Calling Messages Machines Freak Answering Machines

Author:Jim Gaffigan

“A computer program is a message from a man to a machine. The rigidly marshaled syntax and the scrupulous definitions all exist to make intention clear to the dumb engine.”

Men Clear Computer Messages Program Machines Intention Definitions Dumb Engines Syntax

Author:Fred Brooks

“I don't send messages, I'm not a fax machine”

Messages Machines Fax Fax Machines

Author:Shaquille O'Neal

“I'm in a house where if the washing machine shuts off, it sings a song. If iPad gets a message, it sings a song. I'm living in a real postmodern time - every single thing sings to you to tell you it's started, it's stopped, you've got a message, you didn't get a message.”

Ifs Real Song House Messages Machines Washing Ipads Postmodern Washing Machines

Author:Abel Ferrara

“Legions of young hip-hop fans are as against this as hip-hop's most fierce critics. There is a huge underground movement within hip-hop circles that against these representation. You can hear this message on tons of lyrics and rap songs produced by independent emcees. But they are fighting against a well-oiled and well-financed machine.”

Wells Young Song Fighting Fans Movement Huge Messages Machines Independent Critics Hip Hop Rap Circles Hips Hops Fierce Representation Legion Rap Song Emcee

Author:Bakari Kitwana

“I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out.”

Home Car Communication Messages Machines Answering Machines Good Communication

Author:Steven Wright

“The wish to disappear sends many travelers away. If you are thoroughly sick of being kept waiting at home or at work, travel is perfect: let other people wait for a change. Travel is a sort of revenge for having been put on hold, or having to leave messages on answering machines, not knowing your party's extension, being kept waiting all your working life - the homebound writer's irritants. But also being kept waiting is the human conditon.”

Source: Dark Star Safari: Overland from Cairo to Cape Town

“Everybody has a ‘gripping stranger’ in their lives, Andy, a stranger who unwittingly possesses a bizarre hold over you. Maybe it’s the kid in cut-offs who mows your lawn or the woman wearing White Shoulders who stamps your book at the library—a stranger who, if you were to come home and find a message from them on your answering machine saying ‘Drop everything. I love you. Come away with me now to Florida,’ you’d follow them.”

Ifs Book Home Kids White Cutting Love You Messages Machines Library Stranger Shoulders Over You Coming Home Florida Bizarre Stamps Lawns Gripping Answering Machines Wearing White

Author:Douglas Coupland

“Did you ever hear one of those corny, positive messages on someone's answering machine? 'Hi, it's a great day and I'm out enjoying it right now. I hope you are too. The thought for the day is share the love.' Beep. 'Uh, yeah, this is the VD clinic. Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love.'”

Enjoy Share Right Now Messages Tests Machines Yeah Corny Being Positive Great Day Clinic Answering Machines Thought Of The Day Positive Messages

Author:Andy Rooney

“I called. Why wasn't anyone here?"- Elena We were here." Clay said. "Around, anyway. You should have left a message." I did. Two hours ago." - Elena Well that explains it. I've been out, by the gate all day, waiting for you, and you know Jer never checks the machine."- Clayton I didn't know how Clay had known I was coming back today when I hadn't left a message. Nor did I question why he'd spent the entire day waiting at the gate. Clay's behavior couldn't be measured by human standard's of normalcy... or by any standards of normalcy at all. Bitten”

Knows Should Humans Wells Said Two Today Left Waiting Hours Known Know How Behavior Messages Standards Should Have Machines Checks Gates Coming Back Clay Waiting For You Normalcy

Author:Kelley Armstrong

“You've reached Fantasia, where the undead live again every night," "For bar hours, press one. To make a party reservation, press two. To talk to alive person or a dead vampire, press three. Or, if you were intending to leave a humorous prank message on our answering machine, know this: we will find you.”

Ifs Knows Persons Two Night Three Hours Party Alive Messages Humorous Machines Presses Bars Vampire Every Night Reservations Pranks Undead Fantasia Answering Machines

Book:Dead in Dixie

Source: Dead in Dixie

“In hell, all the messages you ever left on answering machines will be played back to you.”

Left Hell Messages Machines Answering Machines

Author:Judy Horacek