“Progress is a continuing effort to make the things we eat, drink, and wear as good as they used to be.” HumorFunnyUsedEffortProgressModernDrinkUsed To BeContinuingModern Life Author:Bill Vaughan
“One of the most feared expressions in modern times is 'The computer is down.'” HumorFunnyLiteratureModernExpressionComputerModernismModern Times Author:Norman Ralph Augustine
“A typical triumph of modern science to find the only part of Randolph that was not malignant and remove it.” FunnyScienceTechnologyModernTriumphRemoveTypicalModern Science Author:Evelyn Waugh
“You're talking to a modern, nice, affable German person and they're saying to you something like 'You know, vell, it's a critical time now for Germany within Europe, also globally, economically ve are pretty good, ve have been better. But ve are very vibrant in the theater and arts...' and all the time you'll be listening to this, you're thinking Mmm, yeah, mmm... Hitler, Hitler, Hitler, Hitler, Hitler.” ThinkingKnowsPersonsHas BeensArtHumorFunnyTalkingNiceModernLike YouListeningEuropeTheaterYeahCriticalGermanyAffable Author:Dylan Moran
“I have no problems with buying tampons. I am a fairly modern man. But apparently they're not a "proper" present. "Happy birthday, mum!"” MenProblemHumorFunnyModernBuyingMumNo ProblemModern ManTampons Author:Jimmy Carr
“There's this whole post-modern, nuevo beatnik, retro-bohemian thing going on, you know what I mean? You walk into some coffee shops, and it feels like you're an ex-patriot in Paris in the 20s. You're like, 'Hey, isn't that a young Ernest Hemingway over there? Yeah, I think it is! Hey, let's go have a look and see what he's writing... It's a Gap application.'” ThinkingKnowsFeelsWritingLooksMeanWholeHumorFunnyYoungWalksModernLike YouYeahCoffeeHeyPostsParisShopsGapsApplicationPatriotExesBohemianCoffee ShopRetroBeatnik Author:Marc Maron
“Modern cyberspace is a deadly festering swamp, teeming with dangerous programs such as 'viruses,' 'worms,' 'Trojan horses' and 'licensed Microsoft software' that can take over your computer and render it useless.” HumorFunnyModernDangerousComputerProgramHorseUselessOver YouSoftwareWormsVirusesMicrosoftSwampsCyberspaceTrojansTrojan HorseFestering Author:Dave Barry
“Nobody is excused from the excellence trend. Babies are not excused. Starting right after they get out of the womb, modern babies are exposed to instructional flashcards designed to make them the best babies they can possibly be, so they can get into today's competitive preschools. Your eighties baby sees so many flashcards that he never gets an unobstructed view of his parents' faces. As an adult, he'll carry around a little wallet card that says "7x9=63," because it will remind him of mother.” ChildrenLittlesHumorKidsTodayFunnyFacesMotherParentViewsModernBabyHumorousAdultsExcellenceStartingCardsTrendsExposedWombEightyWallets Author:Dave Barry