“Choose wisely, then eat in moderation. When I know I'm going to Mom's for dinner, I throw an extra 20 minutes on the cardio machine so I can be ready to eat.” KnowsI CanMinutesReadyMomMachinesDinnerExtrasModerationChoose WiselyCardioCardiovascular Exercise Author:Danny Pino
“One time my mom tried to ground me, but that lasted 15 minutes.” MinutesMomMy MomOne Time Author:Bam Margera
“A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes.” MenYearsMotherWomenBoysMinutesMomFoolTwentiesFoolishFoolishnessMothers DayAprilFooledFather SonAnother WomanPranksFools And FoolishnessFoolish ManApril Fools DayApril FoolsFools DayFunny April Fools DayFunny April Fools Author:Robert Frost
“I like that Sarah Palin. She looks like the flight attendant who won't give you a second can of Pepsi ... She looks like the nurse who weighs you and then makes you sit alone in your underwear for 20 minutes ... She looks like a real estate agent whose picture you see on the bus stop bench ... She looks like the hygienist who makes you feel guilty about not flossing ... She looks like the relieved mom in a Tide commercial.” GivingFeelsLooksRealMinutesMomFlightGuiltyAgentsBusNurseTidesEstatesUnderwearBenchesRelievedPalinPepsiBus StopsEstate AgentsFlight AttendantFlossing Author:David Letterman
“[On turning down an invitation to appear for four minutes on the Ed Sullivan Show:] Honey, it takes Moms four minutes just to get on the stage.” ShowsFourMinutesStageMomSpeedHoneyInvitationsEd Sullivan Author:Moms Mabley
“I was brought up Catholic. My mom brought us to mass every Sunday - short for 'massive head trauma' that you get from your mother punching you in your little nine-year-old head every minute because you can't sit still for anything that's boring.” YearsLittlesStillsMotherMinutesMomMassCatholicBoringMy MomTraumaNineSundayMassiveNine YearsPunching Author:Richard Jeni
“Tennis was always there for me, which was lucky. I would go play baseball, basketball, football, hang with my brother, do whatever, and at the end of the day I'd come back and say, 'Hey, Mom, would you hit 15 minutes worth of balls with me?'” EndsPlayMinutesFootballBrotherMomLuckyBasketballBaseballBallsHeyMy BrotherTennisThe End Of The DayAnd At The End Of The DayAlways There For Me Author:Jimmy Connors
“I've never stolen anything. Well, that's not entirely true. I once accidentally took a gift card from a store in a mall. I was carrying it around to show my mom because I thought it was funny, and I forgot to show it to her and left the store carrying it. I had a complete nervous breakdown, like, 20 minutes later and went back to the store in tears. So that's where I stand in terms of my ability to steal something.” WellsShowsLeftTermAbilityMinutesTearsMomMy MomStoresStealingCardsNervousStolenBreakdownMallsNervous Breakdown Author:Zoe Kazan
“When I got drafted I was sitting at home with my Mom watching the draft live on the internet when my name popped up on the screen. We both jumped up in joy and I immediately called my Dad who was out of town for work. Everyone was thrilled and then about 10 minutes late Matt Anderson (the Marlins scout who drafted me) called to give me the news as well and to start negotiating a contract.” GivingWellsHomeJoyNamesMinutesMomInternetDadLateNewsSittingGive MeTownsMy DadMy MomScreensContractsNegotiating Author:Graham Taylor
“I remember I used to go to The Laugh Factory and just goof off onstage, and then I'd see Dane Cook. He did a bit about his Mom making the bed in the summertime when he was a kid. He just said "Vroom!" and threw the sheet up in the air and the sheet would just stay over the bed for like a minute and a half. All he had were his arms out, but I could see the sheet. And he didn't do anything. He just kept it there. And I went, "I have to write more."” WritingSaidKidsRememberUsedBitsHalfLaughingAirMinutesArmsMomBedCooksFactoriesSheetsSummertimeUp In The AirGoofs Author:Jay Mohr
“Having a child makes you realize the importance of life - narcissism goes out the window. Heaven on earth is looking at my little boy. The minute he was born, I knew if I never did anything other than being a mom, I'd be fine.” IfsChildrenLittlesEarthMotherHeavenRealizingBornBoysMinutesFineMomWindowImportanceNarcissismLittle BoysBeing A MomHeaven On EarthImportance Of Life Author:Jenny McCarthy
“I made some truly awful movies. 'Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot' was the worst. If you ever want someone to confess to murder just make him or her sit through that film. They will confess to anything after 15 minutes.” IfsWantMadeFilmMinutesWorstMomMurderMy MomAwful Author:Sylvester Stallone