Best Pearly Gates Quotes | Short & Famous Sayings

Author:Mark Hart

“The kings of terrors, the last enemy, will never be able to breach the pearly gates and disturb the bliss of heaven! No more deathbed vigils or funerals. The hearse will have made its last journey.”

Made Able Lasts Heaven Enemy Journey Kings Terror Bliss Gates Funeral Deathbed Breach Pearly Gates

Author:J. Oswald Sanders

“I can see it now: Osama bin Laden goes up to the pearly gates where George Washington comes out, starts beating him and is then joined by 70 other members of the Continental Congress. Osama will say, Hey, wait! Where are my 71 virgins? And George will reply It's 71 Virginians, you asshole!”

I Can Waiting Members Congress Hey Gates Virgins Bin Laden Osama Bin Laden Continental Pearly Gates Virginians

Author:Robin Williams

“This is what I say to the most conservative person that's so terrified of gay marriage becoming legal. Just because the state says it's legal, it's not like God's going to let them into Heaven. So you can still sleep sound every night knowing that goal line defense is up at the pearly gates.”

Persons Stills States Night Heaven Sound Goal Lines Sleep Knowing Becoming Gay Conservative Defense Gates Every Night Terrified Gay Marriage Pearly Gates

Author:Daniel Tosh

“If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? Oh, you know something? I'm so far away from believing that it exists, and the only thing I know are jokes about it.”

Ifs Knows Believe Heaven Jokes Gates Far Away Pearly Gates

Author:Donald Sutherland

“The Pearly Gates. Am I the only one who finds it odd that Heaven has gates? What kind of neighborhood is Heaven in?”

Kind Heaven Odd Neighborhood Gates Pearly Gates

Author:Jim Gaffigan

“Whatever happens when we die, it would be really weird if it was what we had expected. Even if you were a lifelong Christian believer, it would be kind of weird if there actually were pearly gates.”

Ifs Kind Happens Would Be Christian Dies Expected Believer Gates Be Kind Lifelong Whatever Happens Really Weird Pearly Gates

Author:George Saunders

“I envy the people who say, 'oh, well, I've got my name in the golden book and I'm going to be entered into the pearly gates.'”

People Wells Book Names Envy Golden Gates Oh Well Pearly Gates

Author:William Shatner

“It often occurs to me that if, against all odds, there is a judgmental God and heaven, it will come to pass that when the pearly gates open, those who had the valor to think for themselves will be escorted to the head of the line, garlanded, and given their own personal audience.”

Ifs Thinking Given Heaven Lines Audience Gates Odds Judgmental Valor Against All Odds Against The Odds Pearly Gates

Author:E. O. Wilson

“Really, just looking around, you feel a twinge of pity for the poor souls who succeeded in getting past the Pearly Gates. One can't help but picture the lackluster VIP lounge in Heaven, a kind of nonalcoholic ice-cream social starring Harriet Beecher Stowe and Mahatma Gandhi. Hardly anyone's idea of a "with-it" social register.”

Feels Kind Ideas Soul Helping Past Heaven Social Poor Pity Ice Gates Cream Ice Cream Register Vip Pearly Gates

Author:Chuck Palahniuk

“I'm sad. Pressed down by sorrow. I'm angry. Pissed at God, if there is one, and the way things are. I'm scared. Confused by the whys. Why are we here? Is there, really, some intelligent design? Why do we cry for someone who leaves us if there's some Grand Pearly Gate in the sky? Why worry about how we build our lives if the ultimate ending for all is death, a single breath away? (358)”

Ifs Way Worry Our Lives Sky Cry Design Sorrow Ultimate Intelligent Breaths Angry Scared Confused Gates Intelligent Design I'm Sad Pearly Gates

Book:Tilt

Source: Tilt

“His mother had told him that when you looked into the eyes of God at the pearly gates, all the questions you ever had were answered. Ronan had a lot of questions. Waking Glendower might be like that. Fewer angels attending, and maybe a heavier Welsh accent. Slightly less judgment.”

Might Eye Mother Judgment Angel Gates Waking Fewer Accents Attending Welsh Pearly Gates

Book:The Dream Thieves (The Raven Cycle, Book 2)

Source: The Dream Thieves (The Raven Cycle, Book 2)

“When I'm standing at the Pearly Gates, I want to say to God, 'Don't look at the records. Look at my family. I'm much prouder about that part.'”

Want Inspirational Looks Records Standing My Family Gates Pearly Gates

Author:John Fogerty

“The truth is that we are saved by grace only after all we ourselves can do. (See 2 Ne. 25:23.) There will be no government dole which can get us through the pearly gates. Nor will anybody go into the celestial kingdom who wants to go there on the works of someone else. Every man must go through on his own merits. We might just as well learn this here and now.”

Men Want Wells Government Might Can Do Grace Truth Is Saved Every Man Kingdoms Merit Gates Here And Now Celestial Saved By Grace Pearly Gates

Author:Marion G. Romney

“It's a thin line between paper and hate, Friends and snakes, nine millis and thirty-eights, Hell or the pearly gates...I was destined to come, Predicted, blame God, He blew breath in my lungs.”

Hate Lines Hell Paper Breaths Blame Hip Hop Rap Nine Thirty Gates Snakes Destined Lungs Pearly Gates

Author:Nas

“Even a band of angels can turn ugly and start looting if enough angels are unemployed and hanging around the Pearly Gates convinced that all the succubi own all the liquor stores in Heaven.”

Ifs Enough Turns Heaven Band Angel Ugly Convinced Stores Gates Liquor Unemployed Hanging Around Looting Liquor Stores Pearly Gates

Book:Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government

Source: Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government

“If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?”

Ifs Heaven Gates Pearly Gates

Author:James Lipton

“I done been to the pearly gates, they sent me back said the good die young I ain't eligible for that”

Said Done Young Dies Rap Gates Die Young Pearly Gates

Author:Curtis Jackson

“If you go through the pearly gates backwards in a fireball, that's a cool way to die!”

Ifs Way Dies Gates Backwards Pearly Gates

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

Pearly Gates Quotes

Related topics

Pearly Gates Quotes