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Problem Gambling Quotes

Browse 168 quotes about Problem Gambling.

Problem Gambling Quotes

“Gamblers get "caught" gambling in one of several ways. One way is to be discovered someplace where the gamblers promised never to go after the last time they were caught. Another is when money is missing and there is no lie big enough to explain how and why this much money is gone.”

AddictionGamblingGamblerGambling AddictGambling AddictionProblem GamblingGamblers AnonymousGam Anon
Book:GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
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“The gamblers claim that lessons have been learned. The non-gamblers believe that “love conquers all.” The gamblers may even believe it at that moment. Promises are made never to gamble again, to be a better person, to work harder, to pay back the debt, and the non-gamblers do what has been asked of them.”

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Book:GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
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“The belief that blind trust is necessary in a successful relationship is false and is a distraction to the real issues of recovery. Recovery is less about trusting the gambler and more about trusting ourselves. We have already experienced the dangers of trusting someone who has not earned our trust. Trust is something that will come over time during the recovery process. How much trust to give the gamblers, and when, is a personal decision.”

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Book:GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
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“In order to gamble, the gamblers need time. Family time interferes with gambling time. Dating interferes with gambling time. Work interferes with gambling time. School interferes with gambling time. If the gamblers need to feel justification in order to gamble without guilt, they pick a fight. If guilt is not an issue for the gamblers, the fight is a power play. Either way one thing is certain: the gamblers will get to gamble.”

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Book:GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
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“The gamblers may seek to carve out time to gamble by picking a fight and then marching out the door. The gamblers pretend to be so "upset" that they can't be in the company of loved ones, can't go to work, and can't go to school. Whether the need to gamble takes the gamblers outside the home to a race track, card club, or other gambling destination or to another room to sit in front of a computer for a session of internet gambling, this game attempts to turn the home into a battleground for the purpose of escape. After a while, the loved ones aren't fooled. They know where the gamblers are and why.”

AddictionGamblingGamblerGambling AddictGambling AddictionProblem GamblingGamblers AnonymousGam Anon
Book:GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
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“My husband always picked a fight on card game nights. Either dinner was cold, or overcooked, or undercooked, or tasteless, or he didn't like my tone of voice, or he picked on anything that came into his mind. He would stomp out the door and I would spend the night wondering what I could have done or said differently to avoid the fight. When I realized that there was nothing I could ever do or say to stop this cycle, I told him that on card game nights he should eat dinner out and not come home first. Those became my most peaceful nights of the week.”

AddictionGamblingGamblerGambling AddictGambling AddictionProblem GamblingGamblers AnonymousGam Anon
Book:GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
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“Often non-gamblers know the truth, or part of the truth about the gamblers’ gambling and gambling debts. Yet, when the gamblers ask for money, or ask for financial sacrifices that will make money available for gambling, the non-gamblers feel they must comply with the gamblers' demands in order to protect others from learning the truth. They think the truth will destroy these others emotionally or financially.”

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Book:GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
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“A spouse will protect the gamblers' parents, a friend will protect the gamblers' spouse, a spouse will protect the children, a sibling will protect other family members and loved ones, an adult child will protect a parent, and a parent will protect the other parent or the gambler's spouse. The gamblers rely on the protective nature of these relationships. What these non-gamblers often don't realize is that the people they are trying to protect may already know about the compulsive gambling, and could have given money to the gamblers recently or in the past. Perhaps one of these people has already confronted the gamblers, refused to give money, or threatened to expose the gamblers' lies that the gamblers are no longer gambling. The gamblers create this conspiracy of silence among non-gamblers because it is to their advantage. All these personal credit lines remain open because no one talks about the gambling, no one knows how much is being borrowed from anyone else, and those who think the gambling has stopped remain ignorant of the truth. What everyone is doing is providing money for the gamblers to gamble and, by their silence, enabling the gamblers to get away with the lies and quite possibly bankrupt those they are trying to protect.”

AddictionGamblingGamblerGambling AddictGambling AddictionProblem GamblingGamblers AnonymousGam Anon
Book:GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
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“My brother was receiving his share of quarterly distributions from our father's estate. He asked me for an additional distribution to buy a car and I gave him enough to buy the car with no financing. A month later he asked me for money to pay off the car. This didn't make sense to me. When I called my sister to discuss it with her, she told me he had been gambling at the casino for years and that she had given him money in the past. He had asked her not to tell anyone. I had no idea.”

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Book:GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
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“After my son got out of jail and joined GA, he told me that his father, who had passed away many years before, always gave him money when he asked. His siblings knew this at the time, but I was kept in the dark. I became so angry and hurt that my husband had believed that I was such a weak and frightened person that I needed to be protected. When I shared this in my Gam-Anon meeting, one of the comments was that perhaps my husband was not protecting me, but avoiding facing the reality of his son's gambling.”

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Book:GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
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“The gamblers will employ any tactic that will produce the desired result – the freedom to gamble. This might include the "deep freeze" or silent treatment used against the loved ones. This game can be very effective since it succeeds in putting the non-gamblers off balance by diverting attention away from the gambling issues and planting the seeds of self-doubt in their minds. The non-gamblers might begin to question their own motives and beliefs and begin to think: Am I overreacting to the gambling problem? Do I need to be more understanding? What have I done to cause the gambler to be so angry with me? How can I make this situation right? I'll do whatever it takes. I must learn how to make this not happen again. I cannot stand being ignored.”

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Book:GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
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“The silent treatment is a very personal and hurtful attack on the non-gamblers with a loud, clear message: "Don't try to interfere with my gambling, I can inflict great pain if you do." This game puts all of the power once again in the hands of the gambler.”

AddictionGamblingGamblerGambling AddictGambling AddictionProblem GamblingGamblers AnonymousGam Anon
Book:GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
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“For no apparent reason there were times I would find myself on the receiving end of being ignored – as if I didn’t exist in my own home. It was as though my husband pushed the delete button and I was no longer visible. Though I would repeatedly ask what was wrong I would never get a reply. Fear and self-doubt would grip me. Until the silent treatment was deemed over by my gambler, I would spend my time trying to fix something I apparently did though I had no idea what it was. The silent treatment game succeeded in distracting me from the gambling issues and made me focus on mythical wrongs for which I was being punished.”

AddictionGamblingGamblerGambling AddictGambling AddictionProblem GamblingGamblers AnonymousGam Anon
Book:GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
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“The gamblers must manipulate situations and people in order to maintain their gambling activities. Those who love the gamblers can be easily manipulated and can never win playing the gamblers' games. The gamblers know each person's weaknesses and the moves that will be made before they do.”

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Book:GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
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“While many consider gamblers to be wonderful and loving people, the gamblers' families may feel quite differently. They see their gamblers as being unconcerned about them. There never seems to be enough money for their basic needs or enough time spent as a family.”

AddictionGamblingGamblerGambling AddictGambling AddictionProblem GamblingGamblers AnonymousGam Anon
Book:GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
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“Compulsive gamblers escape the frustrations of day to day living by building a fantasy life filled with dreams of what they will buy or possess when there are enough winnings. Pathetically, there never seems to be enough of these winnings to make even the smallest dream come true and gambling compounds the frustrations rather than minimizing them.”

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Book:GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
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“Ultimately, they gamble in reckless desperation and the dream world brings no relief. It brings only increased debt and extreme anxiety, driving family and friends further away. But the obsession to gamble is accelerated nonetheless. The gamblers' self-destruction becomes a terrifying experience for families and loved ones and may involve their destruction as well.”

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Book:GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
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“It may be difficult for the loved ones to accept and examine their own issues when they are in relationships with compulsive gamblers. Their lives are frequently filled with fear, disappointment, frustration, anger and a general feeling of unmanageability, making even the simplest tasks of daily life a challenge. They know that something has to change in the way they are relating to the gamblers, but can’t think of what to do and how to do it, so they take no action other than repeating past behaviors. They have no way of knowing what may happen if they were to act and react differently. Fear of this unknown is a great deterrent for taking action. Feeling like a victim is a natural result.”

AddictionGamblingGamblerGambling AddictGambling AddictionProblem GamblingGamblers AnonymousGam Anon
Book:GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
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“Loved ones desperately try to rationalize and defend why they put up with the outrageous behavior of their compulsive gamblers. They use statements such as "I love him," "I know she loves me," "He needs me and would be lost without me," "The children need their mother/father," or "My culture, religion, family do not approve of divorce." These are frequently some of the reasons offered as excuses for doing nothing about the situation.”

AddictionGamblingGamblerGambling AddictGambling AddictionProblem GamblingGamblers AnonymousGam Anon
Book:GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
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“Even if the gamblers reach the point of seeking help through Gamblers Anonymous, the non-gamblers will often refuse to recognize their own need for help. This will not come until they have reached their own emotional "bottom" and they grow "sick and tired" of being "sick and tired.”

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Book:GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
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“Parents may feel tremendous anger and a sense of betrayal just as spouses and companions do. But there is also a great deal of confusion surrounding the origin of the problem since parents generally feel responsible for their child’s upbringing. This is one of the primary points at which the path of the parents diverges from the path of other non-gamblers. Gamblers might be able to make the other nongamblers in their lives feel as though they have contributed to the problem in the family, but a parent may actually feel that they have caused it.”

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Book:GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
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“Since compulsive gamblers are master manipulators, the gambling children will attempt to capitalize on their parents' feelings of guilt and despair. They will beg, plead, blame, set one parent against the other and play all manner of other games designed to get the parents to bail them out of each worsening situation.”

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Book:GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
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“Grandparents are often a favored target as are siblings. Siblings are often coerced into keeping the gamblers' secrets as well as giving the gamblers money. This can cause even more rifts in the family as the other children begin to lie to the parents to cover for their siblings. The gamblers, in the meantime, will continue to manipulate all these family members in order to achieve their goals of obtaining more money and time to gamble.”

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Book:GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
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“Some adult children of compulsive gamblers may identify with the gamblers, mimicking their behavior. Others may become the protectors of the non-gambling parent. Even though these children abhor gambling and may have grown up to dislike and distrust the gambling parent, they may actually help the gambler keep secrets so the non-gambling parent does not become upset. They might give the gambler money so the other parent does not suffer the financial and emotional consequences of the gambling. Some children will strive throughout their adulthood to secure the love and attention of the gambling parent, continuing to give money to the gambler, even to the detriment of their own relationships and financial security. For some children, their only choice is to physically and emotionally abandon their parents in order to strive, unencumbered by their parents' problems, to live a normal life.”

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Book:GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
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“In the beginning one may fail to recognize compulsive gambling as a serious problem. The loved ones may participate as part of their social entertainment, enjoying the excitement and glamour of vacations in places such as Las Vegas and similar destinations.”

AddictionGamblingGamblerGambling AddictGambling AddictionProblem GamblingGamblers AnonymousGam Anon
Book:GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
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“The gamblers lose and are remorseful. The non-gamblers are consoled in the mistaken belief that the gambling is only intermittent and thus accept any promise made to never gamble again. Months pass between gambling episodes. Most of the time, however, there is ongoing gambling which remains hidden from view.”

AddictionGamblingGamblerGambling AddictGambling AddictionProblem GamblingGamblers AnonymousGam Anon
Book:GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
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“In the third stage of gambling, the illness escalates and exerts an even stronger pull on the gambler. Family relationships deteriorate, friends are gone, emotions are strained, and finances are ruined. Life becomes meaningless and the players proceed down the pathway to the complete destruction of one another.”

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Book:GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
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“Are we doing for the gamblers what they must do for themselves? Are we accepting behavior that is unacceptable? Are we taking responsibility which is not ours to take? Are we shirking our responsibilities to self and others? Are we in a state of denial about the reality of our situation? Are we continually reacting to the gamblers, or are we taking our own appropriate actions?”

AddictionGamblingGamblerGambling AddictGambling AddictionProblem GamblingGamblers AnonymousGam Anon
Book:GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
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“The gamblers may make statements such as: "If you weren't always nagging me and making life miserable, I wouldn't need to gamble." "You know how hard I work and you begrudge me my hobby." "If you were a better spouse... " "If you didn't spend so much I wouldn't need to gamble." "If you hadn't made me so angry, I wouldn't have had to leave the house to calm down." "Sitting at the computer is the only way I can relax after one of your stupid fights." "If you paid more attention to me, I wouldn't gamble."   Usually, the accusations are much more subtle and more difficult to deal with.”

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Book:GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
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“[The non-gamblers] can’t help but wonder if they could have stopped the gamblers from gambling if only they had done or said something differently. The fact is that whether or not the non-gamblers continue to play this game and join in the argument created by the gamblers, the gamblers get to gamble.”

AddictionGamblingGamblerGambling AddictGambling AddictionProblem GamblingGamblers AnonymousGam Anon
Book:GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
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“If my husband ever felt guilt, he never showed it. I always felt guilty. My efforts to stop him from gambling or change his horrible behavior always ended up with me apologizing for making him angry, or not trusting him, or making him feel inadequate as a person and as a provider for his family.”

AddictionGamblingGamblerGambling AddictGambling AddictionProblem GamblingGamblers AnonymousGam Anon
Book:GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
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“My gambler put blame on me for any problem that might occur. This kept me tripping over myself to prove that I was a good person and blameless. These "blame sessions" never really ended; they just moved on to the next time my gambler had the opportunity to indulge his need to take the focus off his gambling behavior.”

AddictionGamblingGamblerGambling AddictGambling AddictionProblem GamblingGamblers AnonymousGam Anon
Book:GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
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