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Reciprocity Quotes

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Reciprocity Quotes

“The darker dynamics of narcissism imply that one person in the relationship gives just about everything, and the other (the narcissist) just takes. If the relationship is reciprocal, compromise is effortless. The more challenging disappointments are the lack of empathy, the lack of connection, the lack of support.”

RelationshipsMarriageSupportPsychologyEmpathyConnectionEngagementNarcissismReciprocity
Book:Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist
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“Typical relationship books, they are about communicating more clearly, being more loving, and making time for your relationship. All of this is lovely advice, only if the other person is noticing or listening! Kierkegaard noted that “Love is the expression of the one who loves, not of the one who is loved.” The challenge is that when this expression is not met with any reciprocity, and in fact the opposite, it can be exhausting and demoralising. If you love more, then you will get more back. It’s not that linear, and while that may apply in a factory— work harder, make more widgets—it does not work in relationships, least of all with a narcissist. Personality patterns tend to be pretty entrenched—and the rules of rescue do not apply.”

LoveRelationshipsMarriagePsychologyEngagementRescueNarcissismReciprocityPersonality Disorder
Book:Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist
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“Women's liberation, if not the most extreme then certainly the most influential neo-Marxist movement in America, has done to the American home what communism did to the Russian economy, and most of the ruin is irreversible. By defining relations between men and women in terms of power and competition instead of reciprocity and cooperation, the movement tore apart the most basic and fragile contract in human society, the unit from which all other social institutions draw their strength.”

IfsMenHumansDoneHomeAmericaSocialTermEconomyMovementDrawsMen And WomenRelationInstitutionsCompetitionExtremesRuinsCommunismLiberationContractsCooperationFragileUnitsDefiningInfluentialHuman SocietyMarxistReciprocityIrreversibleSocial InstitutionsRussian Economy
Author:Ruth Wisse
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“The need to speak the truth and even to seek it for oneself is only conceivable in so far as the individual thinks and acts as one of a society, and not of any society (for it is just the constraining relations between superior and inferior that often drive the latter to prevarication) but of a society founded on reciprocity and mutual respect, and therefore on cooperation.”

ThinkingNeedsIndividualSpeakRelationOneselfSuperiorsLatterMutualCooperationInferiorsSpeak The TruthReciprocityMutual RespectPrevarication
Book:The Moral Judgement of the Child
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“Nature is purposeless. Nature simply is. We may find nature beautiful or terrible, but those feelings are human constructions. Such utter and complete mindlessness is hard for us to accept. We feel such a strong connection to nature. But the relationship between nature and us is one-sided. There is no reciprocity. There is no mind on the other side of the wall.”

FeelsMindHumansMayHardFeelingsBeautifulStrongSidesAcceptingWallTerribleConnectionsConstructionReciprocityOne SidedStrong Connection
Author:Alan Lightman
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“Subjects who reciprocally recognize each other as such, must consider each other as identical, insofar as they both take up the position of subject; they must at all times subsume themselves and the other under the same category. At the same time, the relation of reciprocity of recognition demands the non-identity of one and the other, both must also maintain their absolute difference, for to be a subject implies the claim of individuation.”

DifferencesSubjectsIdentityPositionDemandClaimsRelationAbsolutesAll TimeRecognitionCategoriesIdenticalReciprocityIndividuation
Author:Jurgen Habermas
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“Our modern, rootless times do seem to be a particularly inhospitable environment for loyalty. We come and go so relentlessly that our friendships can't but come and go too. What sort of loyalty is there in the age of Facebook, when friendship is a costless transaction, a business of flip reciprocity.... Friendship held together by nothing more permanent than hyperlinks is hardly the stuff of selfless fidelity.”

SeemsAgeTogetherStuffEnvironmentModernLoyaltyPermanentSelflessComes And GoesFidelityFlipTransactionsReciprocity
Author:Eric Felten
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“A semi-civilized state of society, equally removed from the extremes of barbarity and of refinement, seems to be that particular meridian under which all the reciprocities and gratuities of hospitality do most readily flourish and abound. For it so happens that the ease, the luxury, and the abundance of the highest state of civilization, are as productive of selfishness, as the difficulties, the privations, and the sterilities of he lowest.”

StatesSeemsHappensParticularCivilizationHighestDifficultyExtremesLuxurySelfishnessEaseAbundanceProductiveCivilizedLowestHospitalityRefinementReciprocityBarbarityGratuity
Book:Lacon: or, Many things in few words
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“We should expect hope's reciprocity as a natural flowering of the life of hope. Helping others and nurturing hope is expressive of hopefulness itself. It is an extension of the hopeful self to reach out to others, promoting the connection of agency and the enrichment of horizons of meaning. Hope's reciprocity grows out of the very social nature of hope; we thus frequently see it live in family relations, in intimacy, in love. And so hope spreads. This spreading should not surprise us; like love, it is freely given, fostered, and nurtured.”

ShouldSelfHelpingGivenSocialGrowsNaturalConnectionsRelationSurpriseSpreadHelping OthersIntimacyAgencyHopefulHorizonReach OutExtensionsPromotingNurturingReciprocityExpressiveLike LoveFloweringHopefulnessEnrichment
Author:Patrick Shade
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“One of the most powerful shocks of the Middle Passage is the collapse of our tacit contract with the universe-the assumption that if we act correctly, if we are of good heart and good intentions, things will work out. We assume a reciprocity with the universe. If we do our part, the universe will comply. Many ancient stories, including the Book of Job, painfully reveal the fact that there is no such contract, and everyone who goes through the Middle Passage is made aware of it.”

IfsHeartMadeBookFactsStoriesJobsUniversePowerfulMiddleAssumingIntentionIncludingAncientWork OutAssumptionShockMost PowerfulContractsPassagesCollapseGood IntentionsReciprocityGood HeartTacitThings Will Work OutMiddle Passage
Book:The Middle Passage: From Misery to Meaning in Midlife
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“I think it is said that Gauss had ten different proofs for the law of quadratic reciprocity. Any good theorem should have several proofs, the more the better. For two reasons: usually, different proofs have different strengths and weaknesses, and they generalise in different directions - they are not just repetitions of each other.”

ThinkingShouldSaidTwoDifferentReasonLawTenWeaknessShould HaveMathematicsProofRepetitionReciprocityDifferent DirectionsTheoremsStrength And WeaknessQuadratics
Author:Michael Atiyah
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“Between women love is contemplative; caresses are intended less to gain possession of the other than gradually to re-create the self through her; separateness is abolished, there is no struggle, no victory, no defeat; in exact reciprocity each is at once subject and object, sovereign and slave; duality become mutuality.”

SelfLove IsStruggleSubjectsObjectsVictoryGainsSlaveDefeatPossessionSovereignDualityReciprocityContemplativeCaressSeparateness
Book:The Second Sex
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“We think that we live in a heterosexual society because most men are fixated on women as sexual objects; but, in fact, we live ina homosexual society because all credible transactions of power, authority, and authenticity take place among men; all transactions based on equity and individuality take place among men. Men are real; therefore, all real relationship is between men; all real communication is between men; all real reciprocity is between men; all real mutuality is between men.”

ThinkingMenRealFactsObjectsCommunicationAuthorityIndividualityAuthenticityHomosexualityHomosexualEquityTransactionsReciprocityCredibleReal Relationship
Author:Andrea Dworkin
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“In masturbation there is nothing but loss. There is no reciprocity. There is merely the spending away of a certain force, and no return. The body remains, in a sense, a corpse, after the act of self-abuse. There is no change, only deadening. There is what we call dead loss. And this is not the case in any act of sexual intercourse between two people. Two people may destroy one another in sex. But they cannot just produce the null effect of masturbation.”

PeopleMayTwoSelfBodyCertainForceSexLossCasesEffectsProduceReturnAbuseRemainsSpendingCorpsesIntercourseMasturbationReciprocityNull
Book:Phoenix: the Posthumous Papers of D. H. Lawrence by D. H. Lawrence (Illustrated)
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“The universe is a vast system of exchange. Every artery of it is in motion, throbbing with reciprocity, from the planet to the rotting leaf. The vapor climbs the sunbeam, and comes back in blessings upon the exhausted herb. The exhalation of the plant is wafted to the ocean. And so goes on the beautiful commerce of nature. And all because of dissimilarity--because no one thing is sufficient in itself, but calls for the assistance of something else, and repays by a contribution in turn.”

BeautifulTurnsUniverseOne ThingPlanetsGoes OnBlessingOceanPlantSufficientContributionClimbsCommerceExhaustedLeafsAssistanceHerbsReciprocityRottingVaporArteriesSunbeams
Author:Edwin Hubbel Chapin
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