“The Psblurtex is an 18-inch long anaconda that hides in the gentlemen's outfitting departments of Amazonian stores and is often bought by mistake since its colors are those of the London Reform Club. Once tied around its victim's neck, it strangles him gently and then claims the insurance before running off to Germany where it lives in hiding.” LongRunningMistakeColorHumorousClaimsVictimClubsLondonStoresReformGentlemanGermanyDepartmentNecksHidingInchesTied Author:Mike Harding
“The problem ... is that we have run out of dinosaurs to form oil with. Scientists working for the Department of Energy have tried to form oil using other animals; they've piled thousands of tons of sand and Middle Eastern countries on top of cows, raccoons, haddock, laboratory rats, etc., but so far all they have managed to do is run up an enormous bulldozer-rental bill and anger a lot of Middle Eastern persons. None of the animals turned into oil, although most of the laboratory rats developed cancer.” PersonsCountryProblemRunningFormEnergyAnimalMiddleHumorousScientistBillsCancerOilEnormousDepartmentSandEtcCowsRatsEasternLaboratoryDinosaursRaccoonsBulldozers Author:Dave Barry
“The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.” GivingRunningChanceHumorousReachingStringsDozenVacuumsExamining Author:Rich Hall
“In the long run, every program becomes rococo, and then rubble.” LongRunningHumorousProgramLong RunsRubbleRococo Author:Alan Perlis