“President Bush and Bill Clinton both agree that cloning is morally wrong. Clinton said that he thinks humans should be made the old-fashioned way - liquored up in a cheap hotel room.” ThinkingWayShouldHumansMadeSaidPresidentRoomsAgreeBillsClintonHotelOld FashionedPresident BushHotel RoomsCloning Author:Jay Leno
“I really am tired of all the Clinton Democrats running around getting all-sanctimonious over Iraq. It was them who killed 1.5 to 2.2 million Iraqis through sanctions. Sanctions that Madeline Albright, their illustrious Secretary of State, when confronted with the fact of 500,000 dead Iraqi children, said it was a price she was willing to pay.” ChildrenSaidStatesFactsRunningPayMillionsWillingTiredClintonDemocratIraqSecretarySanctionsSanctimoniousMadeline Author:Scott Ritter
“[Hillary Clinton] was trying to encourage us to become more active in politics and she said, 'If you leave all the decision-making to others, you might not like what they do, and you will have no one but yourself to blame.' It was such a challenge to the women in the room. And it really hit me: She's talking to me.” IfsTryingSaidMightChallengesDecisionRoomsTalkingBlameClintonActiveDecision Making Author:Kirsten Gillibrand
“Hillary Clinton announced she's running for president. Yesterday in Ohio, Hillary popped into a Chipotle and she ordered a burrito bowl with chips and salsa. And on her way out she said, 'That locks down the Hispanic vote.'” WaySaidRunningPresidentVoteClintonYesterdayBowlsLocksChipsOhioHispanicSalsaBurritosChipotleChips And Salsa Author:Conan O'Brien
“Hillary Clinton is campaigning in Iowa, virtually going door to door to every home in Iowa. Jehovah's Witnesses finally got fed up and said, 'Get lost. Get out of here!'” SaidHomeLostDoorsClintonWitnessFedsJehovahFed UpIowaCampaigning Author:David Letterman
“According to a new poll, 48 percent of Americans believe that Hillary Clinton is honest and trustworthy. Then Hillary said, 'Actually I just made that poll up.'” BelieveMadeSaidHonestPercentClintonPollsTrustworthy Author:Jimmy Fallon
“Hillary Clinton made a campaign stop in Las Vegas yesterday. She said she wants citizenship for undocumented immigrants. But after seeing Americans celebrate Cinco de Mayo yesterday, immigrants said, 'You know what, we're good. We're gonna head back now. We had enough.'” KnowsWantMadeSaidEnoughSeeingClintonCampaignsYesterdayCelebrateImmigrantsCitizenshipVegasLas VegasHad EnoughUndocumented ImmigrantsCinco De Mayo Author:Jimmy Fallon
“Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen attended a fundraiser for Hillary Clinton in New York City this week. Hillary told them, 'Good luck with the reboot of your '90s show.' And they said, 'Thanks. Good luck with yours.'” SaidShowsCitiesWeekNew YorkLuckClintonThanksNew York CityMaryThey SaidGood LuckKateFundraiserAshley Author:Jimmy Fallon
“Hillary Clinton wrote an Op-Ed for a paper in Iowa about her plans to help the middle class. Middle-class Americans said, 'Why didn't you just say that in a speech?' and she said, 'Because I charge $200,000 for a speech.'” SaidHelpingClassPlansMiddleSpeechPaperClintonMiddle ClassIowa Author:Jimmy Fallon
“In a new interview, the president discussed the upcoming election. He said that Hillary Clinton is going to do great as a presidential candidate. When asked how Biden would do, Obama said, 'Hillary's going to do great.'” SaidPresidentElectionClintonPresidentialCandidatesInterviewsPresidential CandidateBiden Author:Jimmy Fallon
“According to a new survey, almost half of the voters in Ohio, Florida, and Pennsylvania say that they do not trust Hillary Clinton. Republicans immediately got together and said, 'OK, this is a huge opportunity for us. How are we going to screw it up?'” SaidTogetherOpportunityHalfHugeRepublicanClintonVotersFloridaScrewsSurveysOhioPennsylvania Author:Jimmy Fallon
“Hillary Clinton was actually inducted into the Irish American Hall of Fame yesterday. Hillary said she's very proud of her Irish heritage or her Italian heritage or her Asian heritage. Whatever it takes to seal the deal with you guys. I've got to get into that Oval Office.” SaidGuyDealsProudFameOfficeClintonYesterdayHallsItalianHeritageAsianSealsWhatever It TakesHall Of FameOval Author:Jimmy Fallon
“Another scandal for Hillary Clinton - they're saying she used a private email address when she was secretary of state, which means the government couldn't archive and preserve her emails. Then Obama said, 'Don't worry, we saw them. We see everyone's emails.'” MeanSaidStatesGovernmentUsedWorrySawsClintonPreservesAddressesSecretaryEmailScandalArchives Author:Jimmy Fallon
“Hillary Clinton is receiving criticism after telling a crowd to 'unlock their full potential,' because that line is commonly used by another possible candidate, Carly Fiorina. People said, 'You can't just steal someone's slogan like that!' And Hillary said, 'Yes we can!'” PeopleSaidUsedLinesCriticismClintonCrowdsStealingCandidatesReceivingSlogansFull PotentialYes We Can Author:Jimmy Fallon
“This week Bill Clinton tweeted a photo of himself reading George W. Bush's new book '41.' Then George W. Bush responded to that post on Instagram. Then John McCain said 'You two are hilarious' by telegraph.” SaidTwoBookReadingWeekBillsClintonPostsInstagramMccainNew BooksTelegraph Author:Jimmy Fallon
“George W. said he doesn't watch television. And, of course, well - the reason for that is the Clintons stole the White House satellite system.” WellsSaidReasonCoursesHouseWhiteWatchesTelevisionClintonWhite HouseSatellites Author:David Letterman
“Arnold Schwarzenegger is in some trouble. Today, the Los Angeles Times broke a story that quoted six women who claimed that Arnold Schwarzenegger sexually harassed them. When asked about it, President Clinton said 'six? That's not enough experience to be governor.'” SaidEnoughStoriesTodayPresidentTroubleSixClintonBrokeLos AngelesGovernorsSexuallySchwarzeneggerPresident Clinton Author:Conan O'Brien