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Thoughtfully Fit: Your Training Plan for Life and Business Success

Book by Darcy Luoma · 25 quotes · Choices, Control, Pause

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Thoughtfully Fit: Your Training Plan for Life and Business Success Quotes

“But when you’re Thoughtfully Fit, people problems feel easier because you work from your core. Instead of being a victim or reacting unconsciously to the situation—likely making it worse—you recognize your choices and are in control of what you do next. Instead of wasting your time and energy being frustrated by what other people are doing, you can get back to doing what you do best.”

“It’s worth building awareness about your own behavior and identifying places you could make different choices. We tend to think things have to be the way they are because they’ve always been that way. But being Thoughtfully Fit opens up a world in which you get to choose how you show up and behave in any given situation.”

“If you can consciously choose your behavior—by focusing on your choices and what you control—you will be more thoughtful, and it will be easier to deal with whatever life throws at you. This book will teach you how.”

“Life is hard and unpredictable. Even though you don’t have complete control over what happens, you do have control over how you respond. No matter the situation, you always have choices for what you say and what you do. I explore this with my clients all the time, and it’s not uncommon for them to tell me: “I agree, in theory. But you don’t know what I’m dealing with. You don’t know what I’ve been through. Having control in my situation isn’t possible.” Maybe you’re thinking the same thing.”

“My daughter Josie was nine years old when she played basketball for the first time. She’d get the ball and hold it and pivot to the right, to the left, back to the right, but seemed paralyzed by indecision. She would think and think and think about what to do—pass or shoot—but never act. At some point, you have to take the shot. Where in your life do you pivot and pivot, but never take the shot? Maybe you need to have a tough conversation, and you’ve thought about it over and over again. You’ve identified how to start the conversation, and you’ve worked through all your talking points. But when you think you’re ready, you pivot. You decide that the situation isn’t so bad after all. You’re too afraid to have that conversation. What if I miss the shot? What if the ball is intercepted? What if the conversation doesn’t go well? After you Pause and Think, you must Act. This is what will help you overcome obstacles and create the turning point. When you don’t Act, you don’t make progress. Research on the highest-performing teams shows it’s better for leaders to make a decision and act quickly rather than wait until all circumstances are perfect.”

“According to a report in Harvard Business Review, research shows that “Reflection gives the brain an opportunity to Pause amidst the chaos, untangle and sort through observations and experiences, consider multiple possible interpretations, and create meaning.”2 If we can create that Pause in the chaos, we can make more thoughtful decisions.”

“In 2004, I was working toward my master’s in organizational development at Pepperdine Graziadio Business School and decided to write my thesis on the effectiveness of life coaching. Two years of extensive research with almost one hundred former US Senate interns showed what I already knew from personal experience. Regardless of age, gender, level of self-awareness, or degree, three months of coaching increased their life satisfaction and improved their personal growth. The key conclusions that emerged from this study include: •Life coaching makes a significant difference in overall life satisfaction. •Coaching is an effective approach to goal attainment and personal development. •Coaching helps clients be more effective in setting concrete, measurable goals instead of being overwhelmed by large tasks. •Asking challenging questions encourages the client to look at a problem in new, creative ways. I knew coaching was effective, and this research proved it.”

“You know about taking action. We all do a lot. Say a lot, type a lot, read a lot, scroll a lot. But the key to this third step in your Thoughtfully Fit core is to Act—you guessed it—thoughtfully. The goal is to Act with greater intention, following careful consideration—to have the action be a result of a more deliberative process, not your first instinct or knee-jerk reaction. Whatever you decide to do might be hard, but as a result of the Pause and Think, you can have clarity and commitment. And, in some cases, the Act is intentionally not doing or saying something, but choosing to self-manage.”

“Some people are good at taking a Pause to put the strategy together, identify all the things there are to Think of, and make contingency plans. But when it comes to actually executing, there’s a block. Before I take this step, did I think through everything that could possibly go wrong? More Pausing. More Thinking. More analysis. They get paralyzed in the details. They Pause too long. They Think too much. And they never take any Action. Maybe you can relate to this? You want everything to be just right before you move forward. Or maybe you have the opposite problem—you Act hastily without Pausing or Thinking at all! That’s what one client told me recently: “Darcy, I realized that I do it backward. I Act, and then I Pause and Think, Ew, I shouldn’t have done that!”

“When you’re Thoughtfully Fit and life feels easier, this doesn’t mean life is easier. Bad things will still happen. Relationships will challenge you. Crises will hit. Adversity will strike. People problems will still be there. But training to be Thoughtfully Fit makes it easier to deal with these challenges and handle them right the first time.”

“Let’s face it: we judge. We all do. It’s part of our humanity. We might never say anything aloud, but we judge, or at the least, we wish others would be different or act differently. Admit it: when you’re at the grocery store, are you secretly looking at someone else’s cart and thinking, Ooh, don’t you know diet soda will kill you? Gosh, that’s loaded with carbs. When you experience or observe behavior you don’t like, Pause and Think by asking yourself: Is this in my control? Is this any of my business? When it’s not your business and/or not in your control, you need to Act by practicing Flexibility.”

“Agility is about handling the curveballs life pitches at us. It’s being able to respond quickly when you’re caught off guard. When you engage your core to Pause and Think, you can Act by responding thoughtfully when you’re blindsided, instead of reacting instinctually.”

“Agility asks us to override our knee-jerk tendency to fire back, to get angry, and to defend ourselves. When you work your core in Agility, you Pause, Think about what you want or need in the situation, and try to identify a more thoughtful and intentional course of Action. With practice, you can have the knee-jerk reactions without the jerk!”

“Agility is about overriding defaults. For me, a good way to accomplish that is to remember what happened the last time I went on autopilot. Ask yourself: What was the outcome? Is that something I want to repeat? If the results weren’t good in the past, don’t use the same recipe! Try something different. If you tend to get frustrated and other people get defensive, see if you can be kinder. If you’re a yeller, see if you can deliver the same message with a calm demeanor and a more compassionate “inside” voice.”

“I had to work on myself and get my own house in order before I was ready to fully return to the world as a single mom and ex-wife of a felon. Just as you can’t love other people before you love yourself, you can’t be Thoughtfully Fit with others until you build a strong internal foundation.”

“People are often surprised that I almost always have my own coach: “Wait, you are a coach. Why do you need a coach?” Well, dentists need dentists, right? My coaches have helped me navigate new jobs, challenging coworkers, and big transitions because of the questions they ask me.”