“I'm gonna get one of those tracheotomies, so I can smoke two cigarettes at the same time! I'm gonna get nine tracheotomies, all around my neck, I'll be Tracheotomy Man! He can smoke a pack at a time, he's Tracheotomy Man!” MenI CanTwoHumorFunnyNineSmokeNecksCigarettePacks Author:Denis Leary
“Yeah, I love living in New York, man, and people who live in New York, we wear that fact like a badge right on our sleeve because we know that fact impresses everybody! I was in Vietnam. So what? I live in New York!” PeopleKnowsMenFactsHumorFunnyNew YorkYeahVietnamImpressSleevesBadges Author:Denis Leary
“"Yeah, well, if you eat red meat, it stays in your colon for fifteen years!" Good! I paid for it; I want it in my ass, okay? I want them to find a meat sweater from my esophagus to my asshole when they open me up in the end! "This guy's covered in meat! He's Meat-Man! He's Meat-Tracheotomy-Man!"” IfsMenWantYearsWellsEndsHumorFunnyGuyRedOkayPaidYeahAssMeatCoveredFifteenThis GuySweatersFifteen YearsRed Meat Author:Denis Leary
“You just can't win. Men have very recent land mines in their heads. Women have recorded conversations and photographs in their heads from 15 years ago.” MenYearsWinningLandMinesConversationYears AgoPhotographCan't Win Author:Denis Leary
“I went to see the 'Spider-Man' movies because my wife is a fan, and so are my kids.” MenKidsWifeFansMy WifeSpidersSpider ManSpider Man Movie Author:Denis Leary
“I'm not really a Spider-Man fan. I'm more of a Batman guy.” MenGuyFansSpidersSpider Man Author:Denis Leary
“My career plan at this point is 'Ice Age 5' through '10,' and even '12,' and 'Spider Man' - you know, basically I'd be Emma Stone's dad for the rest of my career. I really don't have any problem doing that.” KnowsMenProblemAgeCareersPlansDadStonesIceSpidersEmmaSpider ManIce Age Author:Denis Leary
“When I go to Batman movies, I always think, 'Man, I would like to be a bad guy in a Batman movie.' especially as they got darker when they go to the Christian Bale era.” ThinkingMenChristianGuyErasBad GuysBatman Movie Author:Denis Leary
“White men have screwed this country up! I would like a black, female…. everything all rolled into one.I want something different. I want a real change. People, I want a president who speaks well, who has a sense of humor. This guy is such a moron! It's beyond the point where it's a joke. He's an idiot.” PeopleMenWantWellsDifferentRealCountryGuySpeakBlackPresidentWhiteJokesFemaleIdiotSense Of HumorWhite ManThis GuyWant SomethingMoronReal Change Author:Denis Leary
“The best pitch I ever heard about cocaine was back in the early eighties when a street dealer followed me down the sidewalk going: I got some great blow man. I got the stuff that killed Belushi.” MenHumorFunnyStuffHeardStreetsDrugBlowEightyCocaineDealerSidewalkFunny Drug Author:Denis Leary
“All men hear is blah, blah, blah, blah, SEX, blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah, BEER.” MenSexBeerBlah Author:Denis Leary
