The Satyrist...And Other Scintillating Treats

“The groomer wasn’t provided any dental care or skin care and that’s the truth. Just ask his dentdermatautologist, he’ll tell you.”

FunnyHumorousLogicWittyCleverAbsurdSatireDentistQuirkyDermatology

Book:The Satyrist...And Other Scintillating Treats

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“But before the man could reach the door, there was a knock, like one that happens to precipitate a courtship meeting for two punctuation marks that are going out to dinner and one really doesn’t like the restaurant, but goes anyway because they’re a comma dating.”

FunnyHumorousDatingWittyDinnerCleverAbsurdCourtshipPunctuationWordplay

Book:The Satyrist...And Other Scintillating Treats

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“the designer music shop that sold status cymbals.”

HumorFunnyMusicHumorousWittyAbsurdSarcasmStatusWordplay

Book:The Satyrist...And Other Scintillating Treats

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“The following morning, Wilhelmina awoke to a lone lily pad moaning after escaping from an exquisite Monet painting piece that was hosting some shades of watercolor chips that were a century and half-oldish that subbed as a dish for artsy gourmet-eating tadpoles that had both a yearning for the foggy past and longing for their froggy future.”

HumorFunnyPaintingLongingWittyCleverAbsurdYearningQuirkyFrog

Book:The Satyrist...And Other Scintillating Treats

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“as he buzzed his wings with excitement, eyeing and eyeyanging the containers more closely, which he always did when looking at anything because he used both the dark and light part of his eyes to see.”

FunnyWittyCleverAbsurdSarcasmDeepEyesWordplayYing And YangYing Yang

Book:The Satyrist...And Other Scintillating Treats

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“The mummy felt betrayed, like when a spouse agrees on a movie you decided to watch only to put on a different movie as you go to the bathroom, having to sit through the whole movie and not argue about it because it’s not worth fighting over, just boiling up inside and remembering it for later when they want their coffee with half-and-half, knowing that you put 2-percent milk in there and they won’t know, but you will.”

HumorFunnyWittyBetrayalRevengeCleverAbsurdSpouseBetrayedSignificant Other

Book:The Satyrist...And Other Scintillating Treats

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“He had been thrown into the dungeon after refusing to accept that ‘bridegroom’ was no longer an acceptable term to call a groom. Needless to say, he had been there quite a long time.”

HumorFunnyWittyCleverAbsurdSarcasmDungeonsBrideDungeonGroom

Book:The Satyrist...And Other Scintillating Treats

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“as they marched out on their way to band practice to get fitted for new hats to hide foam rollers in, as the athletic director was very against the band members having smooth fascia and demanded they have sore muscles while the football team played.”

FunnyFootballHumorousWittyCleverAbsurdMusclesSarcasmAthleticsMarching Band

Book:The Satyrist...And Other Scintillating Treats

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“The hummingbird realized that this was a psychological tightrope that he had to navigate carefully, so he did it sideways because this was the only way he could move when perched”

HumorFunnyPsychologyHumorousWittyCleverAbsurdSarcasmBirdsHummingbird

Book:The Satyrist...And Other Scintillating Treats

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