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Pamela Druckerman

Pamela Druckerman Books

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“French parents don’t just think these separations are good for parents. They also genuinely believe that they’re important for kids, who must understand that their parents have their own pleasures. “Thus the child understands that he is not the center of the world, and this is essential for his development,” the French parenting guide Votre Enfant explains.”

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Book:Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting
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“Letting children “live their lives” isn’t about releasing them into the wild or abandoning them (though French school trips do feel a bit like that to me). It’s about acknowledging that children aren’t repositories for their parents’ ambitions or projects for their parents to perfect. They are separate and capable, with their own tastes, pleasures, and experiences of the world. They even have their own secrets.”

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Book:Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting
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“The French don’t valorize a pregnant woman’s anxiety. Instead, in the word cloud of French pregnancy, terms like serenity, balance, and Zen keep popping up. Mothers-to-be are supposed to signal their competence by showing how calm they are and by making it clear that they still experience pleasure. This small shift in emphasis makes a big difference.”

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Book:Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting
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“It’s not enough for French mothers to have pleasures and interests apart from their children. They also want their kids to know about these things. They believe it’s burdensome for a child to feel that she’s the sole source of her mother’s happiness and satisfaction. (A Parisian mother I know told me she was going back to work partly for her daughter’s sake.)”

ChildrenKidsHappinessInterestWorkPleasureSatisfactionFrench
Book:Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting
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“When I ask French parents what they most want for their children, they say things like "to feel comfortable in their own skin" and "to find their path in the world." They want their kids to develop their own tastes and opinions. In fact, French parents worry if their kids are too docile. They want them to have character. But they believe that children can achieve these goals only if they respect boundaries and have self-control. So alongside character, there has to be cadre.”

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Book:Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting
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“French parents are very concerned about their kids. They know about pedophiles, allergies, and choking hazards. They take reasonable precautions. But they aren't panicked about their children's well-being. This calmer outlook makes them better at both establishing boundaries and giving their kids some autonomy.”

KnowsGivingWellsChildrenKidsParentConcernedBoundariesWell BeingReasonableAutonomyOutlookChokeHazardsPrecautionAllergiesCalmer
Book:Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting (now with Bébé Day by Day: 100 Keys to French Parenting)
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“To be a different kind of parent, you don't just need a different parenting philosophy. You need a very different view of what a child actually is.”

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Book:Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting (now with Bébé Day by Day: 100 Keys to French Parenting)
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“There are no soul mates. Not in the traditional sense, at least. In my 20s someone told me that each person has not one but 30 soul mates walking the earth. (“Yes,” said a colleague, when I informed him of this, “and I’m trying to sleep with all of them.”) In fact, “soul mate” isn’t a pre-existing condition. It’s an earned title. They’re made over time.”

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Author:Pamela Druckerman
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“The French believe that kids feel confident when they're able to do things for themselves, and do those things well. After children have learned to talk, adults don't praise them for saying just anything. They praise them for saying interesting things, and for speaking well.”

FeelsBelieveWellsChildrenKidsAbleInterestingAdultsPraiseInteresting ThingsSpeaking Well
Book:Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting (now with Bébé Day by Day: 100 Keys to French Parenting)
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