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Ramani Durvasula Quotes

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Famous Ramani Durvasula Quotes

“It’s satisfying to believe that our effort will translate into results, and in many areas of our lives it does. The one area it often does not is human relationships, and the one area it will never work is in a relationship. if you are expending so much effort and not achieving your goal (of pleasing your partner) then you must be doing something wrong or lacking something. Interestingly, most people don’t initially recognize that perhaps it is their partner who is unpleasable. Many people who have been through narcissistic relationships will say that they literally gave everything they had to the point they could not try anymore. This carries a tremendous toll for the giver, who will often give of themselves to the point of exhaustion, physical health problems, loss of friends and family, and even their own sense of self.”

RelationshipsEffortMarriagePsychologyHealthManipulationEngagementNarcissismPartnerUnsatisfaction
Book:Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist
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“Narcissists are manipulative and masterful at twisting the situation and working the rules to get what they want. Even more frustrating, they will turn things around in such a way that you may ultimately give them what they want and exhaust yourself in the process. Early in a relationship, the manipulation is most often emotional (“I had a tough childhood, so sometimes I say things I do not mean” or “I am under a lot of stress, so I blew up—I didn’t really mean it”) and financial (masterfully getting you to take on disproportionately more financial responsibility, finding yourself spending money you do not have to keep your relationship going and your partner happy.”

RelationshipsMoneyPsychologyManipulationNarcissismFatigueFinances
Book:Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist
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“The technical term that is often used for this is “interpersonally exploitative.” In short, because of the singular focus on fulfilling their needs, especially external needs, narcissists will use other people as objects to get those needs met. Other people often do serve literally as objects—a tool to get a job done. Because you are not in on this secret in the beginning, it can feel a bit depersonalizing—as though you are only valued when you are functional. It can feel manipulative, because your partner may compliment you excessively and then hit you with a difficult request or ask you to make uncomfortable requests.”

RelationshipsPsychologyManipulationEngagementNarcissismExploitationPsycopaths
Book:Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist
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“Because they are manipulative, narcissists know how to spin a tale that will elicit your sympathy, make you want to help them, and also make it harder for you to criticize them or express your disapproval regarding certain behaviors. The narcissistic partner’s back story is frequently cited as a reason you kept trying to fight for the relationship. The back story often left you wanting to “rescue” him and to fix his past. You keep writing excuses instead of addressing the behavior that is taking a toll on you.”

StoriesRelationshipsPsychologyManipulationEngagementRescueNarcissismPartnerRescuing Others
Book:Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist
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