Source: I Never Got a Dinner: The Autobiography of Red Buttons
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Famous Red Buttons Quotes
“Eve said to the serpent, “You know I could go for a bite to eat, but I don't know you from Adam.””
“Julius Caesar's wife, who said to Julius, We are not naming our son Sid! Never got a dinner!”
“Saint Christopher, who said, Where can I get a Frank Sinatra medal? Never got a dinner!”
“Ray Charles, who said to Stevie Wonder, Maybe we're white. Never got a dinner!”
“Rip Van Winkle, who said, Don't make the bed; I'm just going to the bathroom. Never got a dinner!”
“Queen Elizabeth, who said, Not now, I'm on the throne. Never got a dinner!”
“Adam, who said to Eve, What do you mean you have nothing to wear? Never got a dinner!”
“E.T., who said to Phyllis Diller, You look weird. Never got a dinner!”
“Sophia Loren, whose new baby asked her, Is all that for me? Never got a dinner!”
“Lee Iacocca, who said to Dolly Parton, Why do you need an airbag? Never got a dinner!”
“Moses, who said to the Israelites, Stop calling me Charlton! Never got a dinner!”
“Nostradamus, who predicted that Billy Bailey would not come home. Never got a dinner!”
“Dolly Parton, who said to her doctor, Are you sure it's a chest cold? Never got a dinner!”
“Jacques Cousteau, the last man to see Jimmy Hoffa. Never got a dinner!”
“Helen of Troy, a hooker from Upstate New York. Never got a dinner!”
“Abraham Lincoln, who said, A house divided... is a condominium. Never got a dinner!”
“Moshe Dayan, who donated his eye to CBS. Never got a dinner!”
“Aladdin, who said to his wife, I know it's not a lamp, keep rubbing! Never got a dinner!”
“Alex Hailey, who traced his roots all the way to the back of the bus. Never got a dinner!”
“Making you a pioneer only means one thing. You were around at the time.”
“Some of the most famous people in history never got a dinner!”
“The Mayor of Hong Kong, who said Can't work today. Have American flu. Never got a dinner!”
“Crispus Attucks, who said, Don't shoot till you see the whites! Never got a dinner!”
“Zsa Zsa Gabor, the only woman ever to apply for group alimony. Never got a dinner!”