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Famous Suzie Burke Quotes

“Not wanting the girls to endure the shame of a crazy mother, I spent my days acting as normal as possible. I walked through life, an actor in a Leave it to Beaver episode, determined to disguise all clues of my real condition until... well, until I could find an appropriate moment to do away with myself." [...] "Yet even as my depression spiraled into ever more precarious territory, I retained an uncanny ability to disguise my true mental condition from everyone except Tom. He was my sole source of strength and he never stopped encouraging me.”

ActingEmotionDespairDepressionMental HealthMental IllnessPretendingDisguiseHopelessnessDissociative Identity DisorderMultiple Personality DisorderDaughtersDepressiveMpdSuicidalitySevere DepressionSuicidehopeless
Book:Wholeness: My Healing Journey from Ritual Abuse
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“I honestly didn't believe I could bear any more suffering. I was convinced that the child within me was just too young to endure all this, much less understand it. She just wanted to be normal. But another part of me knew that to become normal, all the pieces of this puzzle had to become conscious. p164”

ConsciousnessAwarenessPersonalityPresenceDissociative Identity DisorderDissociationMultiplicityRitual AbuseSatanic Ritual AbuseDissociativeDerealizationMultiple Personality
Book:Wholeness: My Healing Journey from Ritual Abuse
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“Denial returned, like a nagging cough you can never quite shake. Actually, it was always close at hand, and even though "satanic ritual abuse" did describe what had happened to me when I was a child. the concept was so foreign and so horrific that some part of me still wanted to stay in denial. Devil worship dominated my childhood. That was undeniable, even if it was still nearly impossible to contemplate. Both of my parents and any number of their friends, as well as "respected" members of our community, had worshipped Satan. I pushed the notion aside with all the power I could muster. I kept thinking to myself that it was ridiculous and impossible. p157”

ConsciousnessAwarenessPersonalityDevilDenialSatanChild AbusePresenceDissociative Identity DisorderDissociationMultiplicityHorrificRitual AbuseSatanic Ritual AbuseDissociativeDerealizationMultiple PersonalityDevil Worship
Book:Wholeness: My Healing Journey from Ritual Abuse
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“This new co-consciousness brought me to a state of awareness in which my core personality was directly able to experience "her" personality. Being co-conscious with her, he explained, would stop me from experiencing the feeling of leaving my body or dissociating.”

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Book:Wholeness: My Healing Journey from Ritual Abuse
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“I am truly crazy, I told myself. It's over. I am not fixable. I cannot tell Tom. I cannot even tell Francisco. So I won't tell anyone. My brain seemed out of control. Tom does not deserve a crazy wife and my children do not deserve a crazy mother. I finally get it. This is not just repressed memory. This is dissociative identity disorder.”

CrazyMemoryDissociative Identity DisorderDiagnosisDissociationAmnesiaMultiplicityMultiple Personality DisorderRitual AbuseSatanic Ritual AbuseDissociativeRepressed MemoryMultiple PersonalityRecovered Memory
Book:Wholeness: My Healing Journey from Ritual Abuse
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“I'm back in the basement of the Ascension Catholic Church, Francisco. And Little Suzie is here. She's lying on an alter, and they're hurting her. The bastards. They're hurting her. There is blood all over the place. There are candles burning and people chanting." I could hardly believe what I was seeing and I cried out, "What is this? I don't understand. What the hell is this?" "Ask your unconscious mind to tell you, Suzie," he responded, ever so gently. "Ask." I did ask. And the answer swept over me with a force so strong that I felt as if I had been knocked backward. "Lord! Oh, Lord. This is satanic ritual abuse, Francisco. That's what this is! That's what this is!" I screamed. "Satanic ritual abuse. And they're using Little Suzie as part of their goddamned ritual. p150”

PersonalityAbuseMemoryTraumaRitualChild AbuseDissociative Identity DisorderDissociationRitual AbuseSatanic Ritual AbuseDissociativeMultiple Personality
Book:Wholeness: My Healing Journey from Ritual Abuse
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“That is the problem with repressed memory and dissociative identity disorder. Your mind represses certain traumas for reasons of pure survival. And then you learn that to survive as an adult, you must uncover the memories, find the parts, and relieve the traumas. The contradiction is almost too much for the mind to comprehend and for the heart and soul to endure.”

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Book:Wholeness: My Healing Journey from Ritual Abuse
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“At cocktail parties, I played the part of a successful businessman's wife to perfection. I smiled, I made polite chit-chat, and I dressed the part. Denial and rationalization were two of my most effective tools in working my way through our social obligations. I believed that playing the roles of wife and mother were the least I could do to help support Tom's career. During the day, I was a puzzle with innumerable pieces. One piece made my family a nourishing breakfast. Another piece ferried the kids to school and to soccer practice. A third piece managed to trip to the grocery store. There was also a piece that wanted to sleep for eighteen hours a day and the piece that woke up shaking from yet another nightmare. And there was the piece that attended business functions and actually fooled people into thinking I might have something constructive to offer. I was a circus performer traversing the tightwire, and I could fall off into a vortex devoid of reality at any moment. There was, and had been for a very long time, an intense sense of despair. A self-deprecating voice inside told me I had no chance of getting better. I lived in an emotional black hole. p20-21, talking about dissociative identity disorder (formerly multiple personality disorder).”

RealitySocialActingEmotionPiecesDespairDepressionPerfectionMental HealthMental IllnessDenialHopelessPretendingHopelessnessCircusDissociative Identity DisorderMultiple Personality DisorderBlack HoleSocial AnxietyRationalizationPuzzleMpdDidPartsFunctioning
Book:Wholeness: My Healing Journey from Ritual Abuse
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