“No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.” TryingMatterKidsParentTalkingFamilyProduceBehaviorNormalParentingBizarreTry AgainNot TalkingRefereeFunny ParentingFunny ParentParenthood Funny Book:Fatherhood Source: Fatherhood
“I will leave the U.S Congress when the term for which I was elected expires in January 2011 and return to the practice of law with a sense of duty fulfilled” LawTermPracticeDutyReturnCongressFulfilledJanuary Author:Mario Diaz-Balart
“States get to improve transportation infrastructure; that creates economic development, puts people back to work and, most important, enhances safety and improves local communities.” PeopleImportantStatesCommunityEconomicDevelopmentSafetyLocalsInfrastructureTransportationEconomic DevelopmentBack To WorkLocal CommunityTransportation Infrastructure Author:Corrine Brown
“The Emancipation Proclamation, signed by President Abraham Lincoln, was put into effect on January 1, 1863, but news of the Proclamation and enforcement did not reach Texas until after the end of the Civil War almost two years later.” YearsTwoWarEndsPresidentEffectsNewsCivil WarTwo YearsTexasEnforcementAbrahamJanuaryEmancipationProclamationEmancipation ProclamationJanuary 1 Author:Corrine Brown
“I do not support a constitutional amendment to prohibit gay marriage.” SupportGayAmendmentsGay MarriageGay PrideConstitutional Amendments Author:Corrine Brown
“When you can't draw chameleons and you can't draw blenders, it's a bad idea to write strips where chameleons become blenders.” WritingIdeasDrawsBad IdeasChameleonBlenders Author:Stephan Pastis
“Whenever I see people with their collars up, I'm tempted to point it out to them like you would for someone who has a food stain on their shirt or food in their teeth, as if to say, 'Your fashion sense is so offensive I'm assuming it's some sort of accident you'll want to fix.” PeopleIfsWantFashionLike YouAssumingAccidentsTeethShirtsOffensiveTemptedStainsCollars Author:Stephan Pastis
“I'm very harsh on real estate agents. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because of how the call every small house 'charming' and every run-down house a 'great fixer-upper'. Just once, I'd like them to show me a house and declare, 'This one's a piece of crap'.” RealShowsRunningHousePiecesAgentsNot SureCrapCharmingEstatesHarshShow MeEstate AgentsFixers Author:Stephan Pastis
“When I was at the University of California at Berkeley, I went to some classes that must have had more than four hundred students in them. I almost always sat in the far back of the auditorium so I could read the newspaper. I remember that I stayed late one day to ask the professor a question, and when I got up to him, all I could think to myself was, 'So this is what the professor looks like.” ThinkingLooksRememberAsksClassFourStudentsOne DayLateHundredUniversityNewspapersCaliforniaSatProfessorsBerkeleyAuditoriumsUc Berkeley Author:Stephan Pastis
“I seem to be able to get away with pun strips if I add a panel at the end where I somehow indicate that I know it's a bad pun.” IfsKnowsEndsSeemsAbleAddGet AwayPun Author:Stephan Pastis