“My comedy notebooks are filled with random journal entries. It's all the same. I can look back on old joke notebooks, and know exactly what was going on in my life.” KnowsLooksI CanComedyJokesFilledJournalNotebookEntryOld Jokes Author:Sarah
“On the law that requires women to wait twenty-four hours before they are permitted to have an abortion: I think it's a good law. The other day I wanted to go get an abortion. I really wanted an abortion, but then I thought about it and it turned out I was just thirsty.” ThinkingWantedLawWaitingHoursFourTwentiesAbortionThirsty Author:Sarah
“The Holocaust would never have happened if black people lived in Germany in the 1930s and 40s … well, it wouldn't have happened to Jews.” PeopleIfsWellsHumorFunnyBlackHappenedJewGermanyBlack PeopleHolocaust1930s Author:Sarah
“We know violence isn’t the answer. When we take up our arms, we’re talking about our vote.” KnowsAnswersTalkingViolenceArmsVote Author:Sarah
“It's no wonder Michelle Obama is telling everybody you better breast-feed your baby-yeah, you better-because the price of milk is so high right now!” WonderBabyRight NowYeahBreastsMilk Author:Sarah
“Unless government appropriately regulates oil developments and holds oil executives accountable, the public will not trust them to drill, baby, drill. And we must!” GovernmentBabyDevelopmentOilExecutivesDrills Author:Sarah
“Stop caring what other people think. How? Understand that this is your life, not theirs, and you'll have no one to blame but yourself if things don't work out the way you'd hoped...their opinion shouldn't matter more than your own.” PeopleIfsThinkingWayMatterOpinionBlameWork OutCaringStop Caring Author:Stephanie Klein
“Don't be so damn hard on yourself. Yeah, you screwed up. You're not perfect, fine. Learn from it. But don't punish yourself. Be kind to you, even when you screw up. You'll bounce back eventually. You'll make up for it.” KindHardPerfectFineYeahDamnBe KindScrewsNot PerfectBounceScrewed UpScrew Ups Author:Stephanie Klein
“If someone wants to lead a double life, they will find a way to do it. And they can promise you things until your nerves unfold and you can finally put up your feet. But it can all be a lie. There are no guarantees, even when people mean what they say at the time. People change their minds. People die. And the hurt is as real as a baseball bat.” PeopleIfsWayWantMindMeanRealLyingDiesHurtFeetPromiseBaseballGuaranteesNervesBatsDouble Life Author:Stephanie Klein
“With relationships, I always had a reason why some time in the future would be better for me than it was that day. When I was fat, I thought I'd feel pretty when I was thin, and when I was thin, I thought I'd be happier if I was more toned and muscular and had more money to look more coordinated. I wasn't comfortable in my own skin unless there was a man there to tell me just how radiant that skin looked. I was a victim of low self-esteem and had the Soon syndrome bad. I was running toward a brighter future, unaware of the mirages I'd created in the distance.” IfsMenFeelsLooksSelfReasonWould BeRunningMy OwnSelf EsteemComfortableLowsSkinsVictimDistanceFatsEsteemReason WhyMore MoneyBrighterLow Self EsteemRadiantSyndromesMiragesBrighter Future Author:Stephanie Klein