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Quote by Sebastián Wortys

“English: "To say that a car is not living is similar to saying that an enzyme is not living." Česky: „Říct, že auto není živé, je podobné, jako říct, že enzym není živý.”

Book:Vtiposcifilo-z/s-ofie

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Vtiposcifilo-z/s-ofie

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Sebastián Wortys

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“Is there somebody out there? Amy, is that you?” her mother called. “No. Tell me this isn’t happening.” Quinn rested his forehead against hers. “Has she got a wiretap on you or something? I swear, she’s like a walking hard-on detector.” Amy bit her lip, trying not to laugh. Quinn levered himself up on his arms. “Mrs. P., if you value your life, you’ll go back inside and turn off the light right now.”

Funny Romance Humour

Book:Her Best Friend

Source: Her Best Friend

“I bring my lips close to her and murmur, "We're kinda friends now" "I heard that," Garret pipes up, "And there's no 'kinda' about it. We're best friends”

Love Joke Bestfriends

Book:The Deal

Source: The Deal

“Perhaps the only difference between the comedian, the psychologist, and the philosopher is that you can’t pretend to be a comedian.”

Philosophy Humor Psychology Comedy Joke Epigram

Author:Neel Burton

“Some people are cynical, yet they know how to make their intentions sound lyrical, but in the end, they leave you with scares that are unmistakable".”

Cynical Joke Fake People Carelessness Bad Intentions Scares Careless People

Book:Painted Love

Source: Painted Love

“A joke without comedic timing is a statement of pure insanity.”

Joke

Book:The New One: Painfully True Stories from a Reluctant Dad

Source: The New One: Painfully True Stories from a Reluctant Dad

“Even among men lacking all distinction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who met him were always impressed by how unimpressive he was”

Satire Joke Exaggeration

Book:Catch-22

Source: Catch-22

“Well, Metcalf, suppose you try keeping that stupid mouth of yours shut, and maybe that’s the way you’ll learn how. Now, where were we? Read me back the last line.’ “‘Read me back the last line,’” read back the corporal who could take shorthand. “Not my last line, stupid!” the colonel shouted. “Somebody else’s.” “‘Read me back the last line,’” read back the corporal. “That’s my last line again!” shrieked the colonel, turning purple with anger. “Oh, no, sir,” corrected the corporal. “That’s my last line. I read it to you just a moment ago. Don’t you remember, sir? It was only a moment ago.”

Humor Funny Joke Humorous Quotes

Book:Catch-22

Source: Catch-22

“But what are we going to do?" Colonel Cathcart exclaimed with distress. "The others are all waiting outside." "Why don't we give him a medal?" Colonel Korn proposed. "For going around twice? What can we give him a medal for?" "For goung around twice," Colonel Korn answered with a reflective, self-satisfied smile. "After all, I suppose it did take a lot of courage to go over the target a second time with no other planes around to divert the antiaircraft fire. And he did hit the bridge. You know, that might be the answer—to act boastfully about something we ought to be ashamed of. That's a trick that never seems to fail.”

War Humor Funny Jokes Humorous Joke Dark Humor Dark Comedy Gallows Humor

Book:Catch-22

Source: Catch-22

“I recently heard the following sentence on CNN: 'Because of high winds, about two hundred and fifty thousand people in New England are without power.' And I thought 'gee, when you think about it, about two hundred and seventy five million people in the United States are without power. They just aren't aware of it.”

Humor Politics Joke Politics Of The United States

Book:When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

Source: When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

Quote by Sebastián Wortys

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