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Quote by John Bennardo

“If you didn't already know, game show talent works fewer days a year than almost every profession, except maybe members of Congress.”

Book:Just a Typo: The Cancellation of Celebrity Mo Riverlake

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Just a Typo: The Cancellation of Celebrity Mo Riverlake

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John Bennardo

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“Now wait a second..." Kenneth butted in. "Yeah, we haven't asked you the questions yet," Brandon finished for Kenneth. "Yeah, like what are your intentions toward our little Ryan," Patrick added, smirking. "What do you do for a living?" Brandon added. "Can you support Ryan's shoe fetish?" Kenneth threw his question in too. "Hmm, okay, here are my answers. I plan on feeding him, dancing with him and God willing fucking him until he can't walk straight. I help infertile chickens have baby chickens, and I think so. I'm hoping his feet are about my size. We can share shoes and everything," Phillip answered.”

Humour Gay Romance

Book:I'll Be Your Drill, Soldier

Source: I'll Be Your Drill, Soldier

“I demoted him from The Best Man Ever to just The Best Man I’d Ever Met. Superman would have charged out (hell, he’d have flown) to get Lois Lane cookies. I was pretty sure of it.”

Humour Luke Ava

Book:Rock Chick Revenge

Source: Rock Chick Revenge

“Wow, top five percent of your class at Northwestern. Nice!" Joel said and then looked over at me. "Bet you're glad to have someone so amazing working under you, huh?" Chloe coughed slightly, bringing her napkin up from her lap to cover her mouth. I smiled as I quickly glanced over to her and then back to Joel. "Yes, its absolutely amazing having Miss Mills under me. She always gets the job done.”

Humour Bennett Ryan

Book:Beautiful Bastard

Source: Beautiful Bastard

“Fine, but if you get yourself killed I reserve the right to flush your ashes down the toilet while I sing the theme from Titanic.”

Humor Humour

Book:Elfin

Source: Elfin

“Her lips full and inviting, she has an infectious laugh and glassy cackle in her eyes, and a 2000 volt sexual charisma that beckons me like a fluff girl on scuffed knees.”

Humor Funny Sex Comedy Humour Memoir

Author:Brett Tate

“The Brigands charged in with their weapons drawn. "Who are you?" Young Bertie asked. "We're the bad guys!" their leader announced. "What are you going to do?" "Plunder and pillage!" one of them yelled. The others immediately shoved him. "Not in front of the kid, Ralph! Fer cryin' out loud..." "Oh, yeah. Sorry! We're here to take your candy!”

Humour Eyes Like Stars

Book:Eyes Like Stars

Source: Eyes Like Stars

“Sam's phone buzzed. She fished it out of her pocket, checked the screen, and cursed. "I have to go." "You just got here." "Valkyrie business. Possible code three-eight-one: heroic death in progress." "You're making that up." "I'm not." "So...what, somebody thinks they're about to die and they text you 'Going down! Need Valkyrie ASAP!' followed by a bunch of sad-face emojis?”

Humor Funny Comedy Humour Humorous Humorous Quotations Humorous Quote

Book:The Hammer of Thor

Source: The Hammer of Thor

“Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With my knives.”

Humour

Book:Throne of Glass

Source: Throne of Glass

“Leave any problem alone for long enough and it will solve itself.”

Humour

Author:Nell Dixon

“Oh, measure it all out! Acceptable levels of misery and suffering!' The cane swung down, thumped hard on the ground. 'Acceptable? Who the fuck says any level is acceptable? What sort of mind thinks that?' Karsa grinned, 'Why, a civilized one.' 'Indeed!' Shadowthrone turned to Cotillion. 'And you doubted this one!”

Inspirational Humour

Author:Steven Erikson

Quote by John Bennardo

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