Best devil & humor Quotes | Short & Famous Sayings

“The Devil made me do it the first time - the second time I done it on my own”

Firsts Made Done Humor Funny My Own Devil First Time

“At Poltersberg, there is a lake similarly cursed. If you throw a stone into it, a dreadful storm immediately arises, and the whole neighboring district quakes to its centre. 'Tis the devils kept prisoner there.”

Ifs Whole Humor Religious Devil Stones Storm Arise Lakes Prisoner Centre Cursed Quake

Book:The Life of Luther Written by Himself

Source: The Life of Luther Written by Himself

“I myself saw and touched at Dessay, a child of this sort, which had no human parents, but had proceeded from the Devil. He was twelve years old, and, in outward form, exactly resembled ordinary children.”

Years Humans Children Humor Form Parent Religious Saws Ordinary Devil Touched Twelve

Book:The Life of Luther Written by Himself

Source: The Life of Luther Written by Himself

“In many countries there are particular places to which devils more especially resort. In Prussia there is an infinite number of evil spirits.”

Country Humor Spirit Evil Religious Numbers Particular Devil Infinite Resorts Prussia Evil Spirits

Book:The Life of Luther Written by Himself

Source: The Life of Luther Written by Himself

“Our bodies are always exposed to Satan. The maladies I suffer are not natural, but Devil's spells.”

Body Humor Suffering Natural Religious Devil Satan Spells Exposed Malady

Book:The table talk or familiar discourse of Martin Luther, tr. by W. Hazlitt

Source: The table talk or familiar discourse of Martin Luther, tr. by W. Hazlitt

“The best way to get rid of the Devil, if you cannot kill it with the words of Holy Scripture, is to rail at and mock him. Music, too, is very good; music is hateful to him, and drives him far away.”

Ifs Way Humor Religious Holy Music Is Devil Very Good Scripture Best Way Far Away Hateful Mock Rail Holy Scriptures

Author:Martin Luther

“The Devil can so completely assume the human form, when he wants to deceive us, that we may well lie with what seems to be a woman, of real flesh and blood, and yet all the while 'tis only the Devil in the shape of a woman. 'Tis the same with women, who may think that a man is in bed with them, yet 'tis only the Devil; and...the result of this connection is oftentimes an imp of darkness, half mortal, half devil.”

Thinking Men Want Humans Wells May Real Humor Seems Form Lying Religious Results Half Darkness Blood Shapes Bed Devil Connections Assuming Flesh Mortals Deceiving Flesh And Blood Human Form

Author:Martin Luther

“The Devil...clutched hold of the miserable young man...and flew off with him through the ceiling, since which time nothing has been heard of him.”

Men Has Beens Humor Young Religious Heard Devil Miserable Young Man Ceilings Flew

Author:Martin Luther

“The Devil, it is true, is not exactly a doctor who has taken degrees, but he is very learned, very expert for all that. He has not been carrying on his business during thousands of years for nothing.”

Years Humor Religious Taken Degrees Devil Doctors Experts Doctor Who Carrying On

Book:The Life of Luther Written by Himself

Source: The Life of Luther Written by Himself

“The Devil, too, sometimes steals human children; it is not infrequent for him to carry away infants within the first six weeks after birth, and to substitute in their place imps.”

Firsts Humans Children Sometimes Humor Religious Week Birth Six Devil Stealing Substitutes Infant

Author:Martin Luther

“The winds are nothing else but good or bad spirits. Hark! how the Devil is puffing and blowing.”

Humor Spirit Religious Wind Devil

Book:The Life of Luther Written by Himself

Source: The Life of Luther Written by Himself

“Two devils rose from the water, and flew off through the air, crying, 'Oh, oh, oh!' and turning one over another, in sportive mockery.”

Two Humor Water Religious Air Cry Devil Rose Flew Mockery Sportive

Book:The Life of Luther

Source: The Life of Luther

“We may well lie with what seems to be a woman of flesh and blood, and yet all the time it is only a devil in the shape of a woman.”

Wells May Humor Seems Lying Religious Blood Shapes Devil Flesh Flesh And Blood

Author:Martin Luther

“We need not invite the Devil to our table; he is too ready to come without being asked. The air all about us is filled with demons.”

Needs Humor Religious Air Ready Devil Tables Filled Demon Invites

Book:The Life of Luther Written by Himself

Source: The Life of Luther Written by Himself

“There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.”

Reason Humor Funny Differences Religious Devil Dating Catholic Broke Broke Up Funny Dating Religious Differences

Author:Adam Ferrara

“I think pickles are cucumbers that sold out. They sold their soul to the devil, and the devil is dill.”

Thinking Soul Humor Funny Devil Pickles Sold Out Cucumbers

Author:Mitch Hedberg

“Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil.”

Humor Reality Funny Life Is Comedy Devil Murder Loved Ones

Author:Emo Philips

“Who knew that the devil had a factory where he made millions of fossils, which his minions distributed throughout the earth, in order to confuse my tiny brain?”

Made Humor Earth Funny Order Brain Millions Atheism Devil Atheist Tiny Factories Fossils Minions

Author:Lewis Black

“An apology for the devil: it must be remembered that we have heard one side of the case. God has written all the books.”

Book God Humor Funny Sides Cases Written Heard Devil Sorry Remembered Apology Apologizing I'm Sorry I Am Sorry Am Sorry Butlers I Apologize Being Sorry Saying I'm Sorry Friendship Apology

Author:Samuel Butler

“When you actually meet the devil and he offers you a deal most artists eventually negotiate.”

Humor Funny Artist Deals Offers Devil

Author:Marc Maron

“In Switzerland, on a high mountain, not far from Lucerne, there is a lake they call Pilate's Pond, which the Devil has fixed upon as one of the chief residences of his evil spirits.”

Humor Spirit Evil Religious Mountain Devil Chiefs Fixed Lakes Ponds Switzerland Residence Evil Spirits

Book:The Life of Luther Written by Himself

Source: The Life of Luther Written by Himself

“The Devil fears the word of God, He can't bite it; it breaks his teeth.”

Humor Religious Break Devil Teeth Bites Word Of God

Book:The Life of Luther Written by Himself

Source: The Life of Luther Written by Himself

“As for the demented, I hold it certain that all beings deprived of reason are thus afflicted only by the Devil.”

Reason Humor Certain Religious Devil Deprived Demented

Author:Martin Luther

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Devil Quotes