“I'm from Port Arthur, Texas! Little guy! Little character guy from one of the saddest oil-refinery towns in America. And here I was driving over to Beverly Hills, to 20th Century Fox, to be on 'M*A*S*H!'” LittlesCharacterAmericaGuyCenturyTownsOilDrivingHillsTexasFoxes20th CenturyPortSaddestArthurBeverly HillsRefinery Author:G.W. Bailey
“I'd been on a road trip right out of college, with a buddy of mine. It was uneventful. We didn't get laid. Although one time it was about 800 degrees and we were in Texas. We had shorts on and nothing else and somehow a motorcycle cop pulls up beside me and says, 'Come on, get on it, get on, go, go, go!' So I speeded up and it turns out we're in a huge state funeral. There are about 40 black Cadillacs in a row and then a green van called Mr Greenjeans, with two guys with no clothes in it.” TwoStatesGuyTurnsBlackMinesCollegeHugeDegreesClothesGreenTexasFuneralOne TimeCopVansBuddyMotorcycleShortsRoad TripGetting LaidCadillacsPull UpsTwo Guys Author:John Travolta
“I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes.” ThinkingGuyCarEastTexasAirplaneEast Texas Author:Carroll Shelby
“The White House says that the vacation in Texas will give President Bush the chance to unwind. My question is, when does the guy wind?” GivingDoeGuyHousePoliticsPresidentChanceWhiteWindWhite HouseTexasVacationPresident BushUnwind Author:David Letterman
“Rick Perry, started out like a ball of fire from Texas and then he started to drop and now he's retooling. He's adding advisers to his campaign team. This guy had advisers? Really?” GuyFireTeamBallsCampaignsTexasThis GuyAdviser Author:David Letterman
“I never travel without my Stetson, but the more I wear it the more I realise that no one wears hats any more. When I was a kid everybody wore hats, especially in Texas, but I get off the plane in Dallas now and I'm the only guy with a hat. It's amazing.” KidsGuyTravelPlanesHatsRealisingTexasDallas Author:Larry Hagman
“Big news from last night's Republican debate, you guys. It turns out George Bush was actually the smart Texas governor.” BigsLastsNightGuyTurnsRepublicanNewsSmartDebateTexasGovernorsLast NightBig News Author:Jimmy Fallon
“Rick Perry dropped out of the presidential race. When asked what went wrong, Perry said, I guess America is not ready to elect a dumb guy from Texas. But in time.” SaidAmericaGuyRaceReadyDumbPresidentialTexasNot ReadyDumb Guy Author:Conan O'Brien
“Don't send your kids to Baylor. And don't send your kids to [Texas] A&M... Texas A&M used to be a conservative university. It's lost all of its conservatism.... My daughter went there. You know, she had horrible experiences with coed dorms and guys who spent the weekends in the rooms with girls.” KnowsKidsUsedGuyGirlLostRoomsDaughterUniversityConservativeScaryHorribleUsed To BeMy DaughterTexasWeekendConservatismDormsHorrible ExperienceBaylorCoed Author:Tom DeLay