“Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.” LittlesHumorFunnyCasesNiceNew YorkApartment Author:Rita Rudner
“I like cottage cheese. That's why I want to try other dwelling cheeses, too. How about studio apartment cheese? Tent cheese? Mobile home cheese? Do not eat mobile home cheese in a tornado.” WantTryingHomeHumorFunnyStudiosApartmentCheeseMobileDwellingTentsCottagesTornadoes Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I went to the Home Depot, which was unnecessary. I need to go to the Apartment Depot. Which is just a big warehouse with a whole lot of people standing around saying "We don't have to fix anything."” PeopleNeedsWholeHomeHumorBigsFunnyStandingApartmentUnnecessaryWarehouse Author:Mitch Hedberg
“The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'” HumorFunnyDoorsSecurityMissingMovedCleanArguingApartmentPizzaCeilingsSinglesDepositsLandlordBack Doors Author:Jeff Foxworthy
“Why do you have to be out of town to write a postcard? I want a to write a postcard to my neighbor: "I still live near you!" The guy sees me go into my apartment, flips the card over, it's just a picture of me holding a rifle.” WantWritingStillsHumorFunnyGuyTownsNeighborCardsOver ItApartmentFlipRiflesPostcards Author:Jim Gaffigan
“At the request of the Catholic Church, a three-day sex orgy to be held near Rio de Janeiro was cancelled last Friday. So instead I spent the weekend cleaning my apartment.” HumorFunnyLastsThreeSexChurchCatholicWeekendApartmentCleaningFridayRequestCatholic ChurchRioRio De Janeiro Author:Tina Fey