“Humor is the shock absorber of life; it helps us take the blows.” HelpingHumorBlowShockShock Absorber Author:Peggy Noonan
“I like those blow-up beds. "This becomes a full size bed in three minutes!" Well, a mattress kicks your ass. Zero seconds. "Yeah, but you can store this thing." You can store a bed, too - in the bedroom.” WellsHumorFunnyThreeMinutesBedYeahSizeBlowStoresAssKicksZeroSecondsBedroomMattresses Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I can speak for every guy in this room here tonight. Guys, if you could blow yourselves, ladies, you'd be in this room alone right now. Watching an empty stage.” IfsI CanHumorFunnyGuySpeakRoomsStageRight NowEmptyBlowTonightEmpty Stage Author:Bill Hicks
“Now you know those trick candles that you blow out and a couple of seconds later they come alight again, well the other day there was a fire at the factory that makes them.” KnowsWellsHumorFunnyFireCoupleBlowTricksSecondsCandleFactories Author:Tommy Cooper
“Still blows my mind that toilet paper isn't free.” MindStillsHumorFunnyPaperBlowToiletsToilet Paper Author:Kristen Schaal