“I like it when you buy something and pay with a credit card, they put your credit card on the receipt, but only the last four numbers. Aha! I'm really good at guessing twelve numbers. I can't guess 16 numbers, so thanks for the assistance!” I CanHumorFunnyLastsNumbersPayFourCreditCardsThanksTwelveAssistanceCredit CardGuessingReceipts Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I got a business card because I wanna win some lunches. That's what my business card says: Mitch Hedberg, Potential Lunch Winner. Gimme a call, maybe we'll have lunch. If I'm lucky!” IfsHumorFunnyWinningLuckyCardsWinnerLunchBusiness Card Author:Mitch Hedberg
“The Cards lead the Dodgers 4-2 after one inning and that one hasn't even started.” HumorFunnyBaseballCardsDodgers Author:Jerry Coleman
“Many people think the Cards at the end of the wire will cross the finish line first.” PeopleThinkingFirstsEndsHumorFunnyLinesCrossesBaseballCardsWireFinish Line Author:Jerry Coleman
“Why do you have to be out of town to write a postcard? I want a to write a postcard to my neighbor: "I still live near you!" The guy sees me go into my apartment, flips the card over, it's just a picture of me holding a rifle.” WantWritingStillsHumorFunnyGuyTownsNeighborCardsOver ItApartmentFlipRiflesPostcards Author:Jim Gaffigan
“Unlikely things to see in a Valentine's card - "I may be dyslexic but that doesn't mean I don't vole you."” MayMeanHumorFunnyCardsValentineUnlikelyDyslexic Author:Russell Howard
“Nobody is excused from the excellence trend. Babies are not excused. Starting right after they get out of the womb, modern babies are exposed to instructional flashcards designed to make them the best babies they can possibly be, so they can get into today's competitive preschools. Your eighties baby sees so many flashcards that he never gets an unobstructed view of his parents' faces. As an adult, he'll carry around a little wallet card that says "7x9=63," because it will remind him of mother.” ChildrenLittlesHumorKidsTodayFunnyFacesMotherParentViewsModernBabyHumorousAdultsExcellenceStartingCardsTrendsExposedWombEightyWallets Author:Dave Barry