“I don't want to get the same looks I give people when they get on a plane holding a baby: "That's a cute baby, just keep walking, keep walking, keep going, keep going.” PeopleWantGivingLooksHumorFunnyBabyWalkingPlanesCuteKeep GoingCute Baby Author:Ellen DeGeneres
“My sister just had a baby, a little newborn. The kid is adorable, so cute. She wouldn't let me hold him, she refuses. She says, 'No way, Anthony, I'm afraid you're gonna drop him.' I'm 32 years old. Like I'm some kind of idiot. Like I don't have a million other ways to hurt that baby.” WayYearsKindLittlesHumorKidsFunnyHurtMillionsBabyLet MeRefuseIdiotCuteMy SisterAdorableNewborn Author:Anthony Jeselnik
“I want to rob a bank with a BB gun. "Give me all your money or I will give you a dimple! I will be rich, you will be cute. We both win."” WantGivingHumorFunnyWinningRichGunGive MeCuteDimples Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I'm just saying, 'Hey, throw me a bone. How about a smile, cute t-shirt? Look at me.' Nothing - unless it's a turn to their friends to go, 'Hey, why is that weird guy looking at us?'” LooksHumorFunnyGuyTurnsBonesHeyCuteShirtsLook At MeT ShirtJust Saying Author:Marc Maron