“I don't think I'll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women. You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you're on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.” ThinkingWantHumorMightFunnyOrderCan DoPerfectWifeMonthsDatingListsRelativeMailPhilippinesPerfect WomanMailingFunny Dating Author:Adam Ferrara
“AT&T is now offering a new service that allows you to pay your bills through your TV screen by using your remote control. So instead of saying, "The check's in the mail," people are going to say, "Hey, I wanted to pay, but I couldn't find the remote."” PeopleHumorWantedFunnyPayTvsBillsScreensChecksHeyMailOfferingRemote Control Author:Jay Leno
“You ever find yourself being lazy for no reason at all? Like, you pick up your mail, you go in your house, you realize you have a letter for a neighbor. You ever just look at the letter and go "Hm. Looks like they're never getting this. It'll take too much energy to go back outside. I'm gonna get that to them later on. Right now I gotta watch some 'Love Connection.' They got some new host on there."” LooksReasonHumorFunnyHouseEnergyRealizingWatchesToo MuchLike YouRight NowPicksLettersConnectionsNeighborLazyNo ReasonFinding YourselfHostMailBeing LazyLove Connection Author:Jim Gaffigan
“It's strange how interesting your dreams are, but when someone tries to tell you their dream you're just like "WHATEVER! Why don't you send me an e-mail so I can delete it?"” TryingI CanDreamHumorFunnyInterestingStrangeYour DreamsMail Author:Jim Gaffigan
“She got really mad a month ago, because she had e-mailed me a naked picture of herself - which is a nice thing to do - but then I messed up, and I accidentally forwarded that e-mail to both of my parents. Now, my girlfriend is furious, mortified, but I don't even care, 'cause now I have to call up my mother and say 'Mom, I am so sorry - that picture was just for dad.'” HumorCareFunnyMotherCausesParentNiceMomMonthsDadMadSorryNakedThings To DoGirlfriendMailMy GirlfriendNice ThingsFuriousMessed UpI Am So Sorry Author:Anthony Jeselnik