“One of my favorite clothing patterns is camouflage. Because when you're in the woods it makes you blend in. But when you're not it does just the opposite. It's like, 'Hey, there's an asshole.'” DoeHumorFunnyOppositesMy FavoritePatternsWoodsHeyClothingsCamouflage Author:Demetri Martin
“My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don't know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.” KnowsHumorEarthFunnyJesusCatholicMy FavoriteGravesCelebrateRisingHolidayEggsEasterComing BackRabbits Author:Adam Ferrara
“I'm a whitebread cracker. That's my favorite white person slur: "whitebread". The other day, someone came up to me and said, "What's up, whitebread?" And I was like, "That's not even an insult. That's just my race plus a food. I can do that, too, black bean soup! Stay out of this, Asian chicken platter!"” PersonsSaidI CanHumorFunnyBlackCan DoWhiteRaceMy FavoriteInsultChickensPlusSoupAsianBeansCrackersSlurs Author:Mike Birbiglia