“I saw a guy juggling chain saws, it was cool, unless something needed to be sawed down, then it's annoying.” HumorFunnyGuySawsNeededChainsAnnoyingJuggling Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I know they don't recommend Ibuprofen during pregnancy, but you needed something fast for the hangovers.” KnowsHumorFunnyNeededPregnancyHangover Author:Chelsea Handler
“A 66-YEAR-OLD woman has become the oldest new mum in Britain after giving birth to a baby boy. I'm amazed she needed to have a caesarean section though, you'd think at 66 she would have needed some masking tape down there just to stop it falling out.” ThinkingGivingYearsHumorFunnyFallBoysBabyBirthNeededBritainTapeMumAmazedSectionsOld WomanGiving BirthBaby Boy Author:Frankie Boyle
“Don't get me wrong. I like Disney World. The rest rooms are clean enough for neurosurgery, and the employees say things like "Howdy, folks!" and actually seem to mean it. You wonder: Where do they get these people? My guess: 1952. I think old Walt realized, way back then, that there would eventually be a shortage of cheerful people, so he put all the residents of south western Nebraska into a giant freezer with a huge picture of Jiminy Cricket on the outside, and the corporation has been thawing them out as needed ever since.” PeopleThinkingWorldWayMeanHas BeensEnoughHumorSeemsFunnyRoomsWonderHugeNeededCleanSouthWesternFolksCorporationsGiantsEmployeeCricketCheerfulShortageResidentsWaltNebraskaFreezerNeurosurgeryThawing Book:Dave Barry Talks Back Source: Dave Barry Talks Back