“If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.” IfsThinkingHomeHumorMightFunnyComedyNeighborCopDetectivesRedneckYou Might Be A Redneck IfRedneck HumorFunny Redneck Author:Jeff Foxworthy
“I've got a reason for running. I talk about a larger goal, which is to call upon the best of America. It's part of the renewal. It's reform and renewal. Part of the renewal is a set of high standards and to remind people that the greatness of America really does depend on neighbors helping neighbors and children finding mentors. I worry. I'm very worried about, you know, the kid who just wonders whether America is meant for him. I really worry about that.” PeopleKnowsChildrenDoeReasonHelpingHumorRunningKidsAmericaPoliticalGoalWonderWorryGreatnessDependsFindingsStandardsNeighborReformWorriedMentorRenewalPolitical HumorHigh StandardsGreatness Of America Author:George W. Bush
“I'm very English really. I even ordered a book on the internet, 'how to have absolutely nothing to do with your neighbors'. Unfortunately I was out when it was delivered.” BookHumorFunnyInternetNeighborAbsolutely Nothing Author:Milton Jones
“You ever find yourself being lazy for no reason at all? Like, you pick up your mail, you go in your house, you realize you have a letter for a neighbor. You ever just look at the letter and go "Hm. Looks like they're never getting this. It'll take too much energy to go back outside. I'm gonna get that to them later on. Right now I gotta watch some 'Love Connection.' They got some new host on there."” LooksReasonHumorFunnyHouseEnergyRealizingWatchesToo MuchLike YouRight NowPicksLettersConnectionsNeighborLazyNo ReasonFinding YourselfHostMailBeing LazyLove Connection Author:Jim Gaffigan
“Why do you have to be out of town to write a postcard? I want a to write a postcard to my neighbor: "I still live near you!" The guy sees me go into my apartment, flips the card over, it's just a picture of me holding a rifle.” WantWritingStillsHumorFunnyGuyTownsNeighborCardsOver ItApartmentFlipRiflesPostcards Author:Jim Gaffigan
“One time the power went out in my house and I had to use the flash on my camera to see my way around. I made a sandwich and took fifty pictures of my face. The neighbors thought there was lightning in my house.” WayMadeUseHumorFunnyFacesHouseCamerasNeighborMy WayFiftyOne TimeFlashLightningSandwiches Author:Steven Wright