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Humor Quotes

Browse 16077 quotes about Humor.

Humor Quotes

“A socialist is somebody who doesn't have anything, and is ready to divide it up equally among everybody.”

Humor Ready Economics Debt Socialism Welfare Divides Socialist

Author:George Bernard Shaw

“That's Washington. That's the place where you find people getting ready to jump out of the foxholes before the first shot is fired.”

People Firsts Humor Political Ready Shots Political Humor Foxholes

Author:George W. Bush

“Many demons are in woods, in waters, in wildernesses, and in dark poolly places ready to hurt...people.”

People Humor Water Hurt Religious Dark Ready Woods Demon Wilderness Black Clouds

Author:Martin Luther

“We need not invite the Devil to our table; he is too ready to come without being asked. The air all about us is filled with demons.”

Needs Humor Religious Air Ready Devil Tables Filled Demon Invites

Book:The Life of Luther Written by Himself

Source: The Life of Luther Written by Himself

“Instead of having a baby, why dont you get a tattoo of a baby first, and see how that works out for six months to a year, and then see if you're ready to have a baby.”

Ifs Years Firsts Humor Funny Ready Baby Months Six Work Out Tattoo Six Months Having A Baby

Author:Chelsea Handler

“Max: What's a period? George: It's a bullet we dodge, go get ready.”

Humor Funny Ready Periods Bullets Max Dodge

Author:George Lopez

“I try to think up material that might apply to the subjects they are studying. How many mitochondria does it take to power a cell? One. Because mitochondria are the powerhouse of the cell. Not ready for prime time, that one.”

Thinking Trying Doe Humor Might Funny Study Subjects Ready Materials Cells Prime Not Ready Prime Time Mitochondria

Book:Sleepwalk with Me: and Other Painfully True Stories

Source: Sleepwalk with Me: and Other Painfully True Stories