“I made $3,000 opening for the Neville Brothers, and they paid me in cash. That was a bad situation, because I bought ridiculous stuff. I bought a snake bite emergency kit. Then I said to my friends, "Don't even worry about snakes anymore". My friend stepped on a worm, and I said, "Lay down!"” MadeSaidHumorFunnyStuffSituationWorryBrotherMy FriendsPaidLaysRidiculousOpeningBitesCashSnakesWormsEmergenciesBad Situations Author:Mitch Hedberg
“Snake eyes is a gambling term, and an animal term, too.” HumorEyeFunnyTermAnimalGamblingSnakes Author:Mitch Hedberg
“A snake bite emergency kit is a body bag.” BodyHumorFunnyBagsBitesSnakesEmergencies Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I commend you on all you've done for PETA, wrestling the one-eyed trouser snake with your bare hands, gently cuddling it in your arms, and nurturing it back to health.” DoneHumorHandsFunnyArmsWrestlingSnakesNurturingPetaCuddling Author:Sarah Silverman