“Imagine if you were a drummer, and you accidentally picked up two magic wands instead of sticks. There you are, keeping the beat, the next thing you know, your bass player turns into a can of soup.” IfsKnowsTwoHumorFunnyTurnsNextImaginePlayerMagicBeatsSticksSoupBassDrummerWandsBass PlayersMagic Wands Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I'm sick of Soup Of The Day, man. It's time we make a decision. I need to know what Soup From Now On is.” KnowsMenNeedsHumorFunnyDecisionSickSoup Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I said to the waitress, "There's a fly swimming in my soup." She said: "You've got too much soup - he should only be able to paddle."” ShouldSaidHumorAbleFunnyToo MuchSwimmingSoupWaitress Author:Frank Carson
“I'm a whitebread cracker. That's my favorite white person slur: "whitebread". The other day, someone came up to me and said, "What's up, whitebread?" And I was like, "That's not even an insult. That's just my race plus a food. I can do that, too, black bean soup! Stay out of this, Asian chicken platter!"” PersonsSaidI CanHumorFunnyBlackCan DoWhiteRaceMy FavoriteInsultChickensPlusSoupAsianBeansCrackersSlurs Author:Mike Birbiglia