“The hugely popular Windows 95 operating system revolutionized the software world thanks to its capability of accomplishing the seemingly impossible task of making Bill Gates even richer than he already was.” WorldHumorFunnyImpossibleTasksWindowBillsThanksGatesSoftwareCapabilityMicrosoftOperating Systems Book:Dave Barry in Cyberspace Source: Dave Barry in Cyberspace
“If I'm out to dinner with a group of friends, and somebody offers to pay for the check, I immediately reach for my wallet. Inside is a note that says, "Say thanks!"” IfsHumorFunnyPayGroupsOffersNotesDinnerChecksThanksWalletsGroup Of Friends Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I like it when you buy something and pay with a credit card, they put your credit card on the receipt, but only the last four numbers. Aha! I'm really good at guessing twelve numbers. I can't guess 16 numbers, so thanks for the assistance!” I CanHumorFunnyLastsNumbersPayFourCreditCardsThanksTwelveAssistanceCredit CardGuessingReceipts Author:Mitch Hedberg
“If Spiderman was real, and I was a criminal, and he shot me with his web, I would say, "Dude, thanks for the hammock."” IfsRealHumorFunnyShotsCriminalsThanksHammocks Author:Mitch Hedberg
“Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: "Mitch, you look great." Mitch: "Thanks." On the other side: "Ruth, you look great." Ruth: "I do? Must be the lighting."” MenLooksHumorFunnySidesAcceptingExampleThanksComplimentLightingRuth Author:Rita Rudner
“When you involved in an accident and someone asks "are you alright?" Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be off.” HumorFunnyAsksFineInvolvedPicksAccidentsThanksLimbsAlright Author:Billy Connolly