“I am just an old country boy in a big town trying to get along. I have been eating pretty regular and the reason I have been is because I have stayed an old country boy.” TryingHas BeensCountryReasonHumorBigsFunnyBoysEatingTownsAgricultureCountry Boy Book:Will Rogers' Weekly Articles: The Harding Source: Will Rogers' Weekly Articles: The Harding
“The main thing I like about New Yorkers is that they understand that their lives are a relentless circus of horrors, ending in death. As New Yorkers, we realize this, we resign ourselves to our fate, and we make sure that everyone else is as miserable as we are. Good town.” HumorFunnyRealizingFateHorrorTownsMiserableCircusRelentlessNew Yorkers Author:Kyle Baker
“I'm a - I'm a, um, a godmother which is just, that's fun to be a godmother, she is so precious, she's the light of my life, she's two... or five or something, and she's, uh... I don't know, I've never seen her - the pictures are precious, she just seems so, y'know... She lives clear across town, I don't have that kind of time, but, um... Well, I send money and stuff, it's not like I don't have a connection...” KnowsWellsKindTwoHumorLightSeemsFunnyFunStuffClearFiveConnectionsTownsGodmotherLight Of My Life Author:Ellen DeGeneres
“On the most Scottish thing he'd ever seen: I was going through a town called Bathgate at around 11 o'clock at night. And there was a guy leaning and pissing against a front door. He then took out his keys and went inside.” HumorFunnyNightGuyDoorsFrontsKeysTownsClockScottishFront Doors Author:Frankie Boyle
“Why do you have to be out of town to write a postcard? I want a to write a postcard to my neighbor: "I still live near you!" The guy sees me go into my apartment, flips the card over, it's just a picture of me holding a rifle.” WantWritingStillsHumorFunnyGuyTownsNeighborCardsOver ItApartmentFlipRiflesPostcards Author:Jim Gaffigan
“You kill me and I'll see that you never work in this town again.” HumorFunnyTownsKill Me Author:Steve Martin