“Many demons are in woods, in waters, in wildernesses, and in dark poolly places ready to hurt...people.” PeopleHumorWaterHurtReligiousDarkReadyWoodsDemonWildernessBlack Clouds Author:Martin Luther
“Knock on wood is a saying for good luck. I think that started when someone went to someone's door to see if someone was home. "I hope Joe's home, knock on wood!"” IfsThinkingHomeHumorFunnyDoorsLuckWoodsGood Luck Author:Mitch Hedberg
“When we were on acid, we would go into the woods, because there was less chance that you would run into an authority figure. But we ran into a bear. My friend Duane was there, raising his right hand, swearing to help prevent forest fires. He told me, "Mitchell, Smokey is way more intense in person!"” WayPersonsHelpingHumorHandsRunningFunnyChanceFireFiguresBearsAuthorityMy FriendsWoodsIntenseForestsRanAcidSwearingForest FiresAuthority Figures Author:Mitch Hedberg
“If you find yourself lost in the woods, build a house. "Well, I was lost, but now I live here!"” IfsWellsHumorFunnyHouseLostWoodsFinding YourselfLost In The Woods Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I am Zebedee, lord of the woods! Bow down snail, I have dominion!” HumorFunnyLordWoodsBowsDominionSnail Author:Bill Bailey
“One of my favorite clothing patterns is camouflage. Because when you're in the woods it makes you blend in. But when you're not it does just the opposite. It's like, 'Hey, there's an asshole.'” DoeHumorFunnyOppositesMy FavoritePatternsWoodsHeyClothingsCamouflage Author:Demetri Martin
“The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree.” PeopleHumorFunnySawsTreeFrontsWalkingShadowStandingWoodsCandleRabbits Author:Steven Wright
“My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood kids I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw it at them.” WantMadeHumorKidsFunnyHouseWoodsLiftsNeighborhoodScareYards Author:Steven Wright