“You saw the president yesterday. I thought he was very forward-leaning, as they say in diplomatic nuanced circles.” HumorPoliticalPresidentSawsYesterdayCirclesDiplomaticPolitical Humor Author:George W. Bush
“Pat, did you notice yesterday the ACLU, and all the Christ-haters, People For the American Way, NOW, etc. were totally disregarded by the Democrats and the Republicans in both houses of Congress as they went out on the steps and called out on to God in prayer and sang "God Bless America" and said "let the ACLU be hanged"? In other words, when the nation is on its knees, the only normal and natural and spiritual thing to do is what we ought to be doing all the time - calling upon God.” PeopleWaySaidHumorAmericaSpiritualHouseNationsChristNaturalReligiousPrayerStepsOughtCallingRepublicanNormalDemocratCongressPositive AtheismYesterdayKneesThings To DoEtcBlessGod BlessDisregardedGod Bless America Author:Jerry Falwell
“A man says to the doctor: "What's the good news?" "You've got 24 hours to live." He says: "What's the bad news?" The doctor says: "We should have told you yesterday."” MenShouldHumorFunnyHoursNewsShould HaveDoctorsYesterdayGood NewsBad News Author:Frank Carson
“So I went to the Doctor's yesterday. He said, "What appears to be the problem?" I said, "I keep having this dream, night after night, beautiful girls rushing towards me and I keep pushing them away." He said, "How can I help?" I said: "Break my arms."” SaidHelpingProblemDreamHumorFunnyBeautifulNightGirlBreakArmsDoctorsYesterdayPushingRushingBeautiful Girl Author:Tommy Cooper
“Yesterday, I masturbated for 45 minutes... with salad tongs.” HumorFunnyMinutesYesterdaySalad Author:Zach Galifianakis
“In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often, I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said 'cut it out'” SaidHomeHumorLightFunnyHouseEnergyJusticeCuttingYesterdayChecksGermanyAnd Off Author:Steven Wright
“Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone...when I came back the entire area was missing.” HumorFunnyCarMissingAreasYesterdayZoneTow Author:Steven Wright