“XM radio doesn't have commercials, so after about thirty minutes of listening to it, I'm like, "What should I buy?"” ShouldHumorFunnyMinutesListeningRadioThirtyShould I Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I have no problem not listening to the Temptations.” ProblemHumorFunnyListeningTemptationNo Problem Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I have an erratic drummer for anybody who's just listening to this, he can keep time, but just in spurts.” HumorFunnyListeningDrummerJust ListenErratic Author:Demetri Martin
“Heavy Metal fans are buying Heavy Metal records, taking the records home, listening to the records and then blowing their heads off with shotguns? Where's the problem? That's an unemployment solution right there, folks! It's called natural selection.” ProblemHomeHumorFunnyNaturalRecordsFansListeningSolutionsFolksHeavyBuyingMetalsUnemploymentSelectionNatural SelectionHeavy MetalShotgunsMetal Fans Author:Denis Leary
“You're talking to a modern, nice, affable German person and they're saying to you something like 'You know, vell, it's a critical time now for Germany within Europe, also globally, economically ve are pretty good, ve have been better. But ve are very vibrant in the theater and arts...' and all the time you'll be listening to this, you're thinking Mmm, yeah, mmm... Hitler, Hitler, Hitler, Hitler, Hitler.” ThinkingKnowsPersonsHas BeensArtHumorFunnyTalkingNiceModernLike YouListeningEuropeTheaterYeahCriticalGermanyAffable Author:Dylan Moran
“When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. When I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.” HumorFunnyLastsLosesListeningTasteSummerIndiaSpicyLast SummerSpicy Food Author:Jimmy Carr
“For me, stand-up comedy is a conversation between me and the audience. I have to keep them listening. When I'm making jokes about cake for twenty minutes, I have to make sure my audience is interested and following where I'm going.” HumorFunnyAudienceComedyMinutesListeningConversationJokesTwentiesFollowingCakeStand Up Comedy Author:Jim Gaffigan
“I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, "I think I might have written that."” ThinkingKnowsI CanHumorMightFunnySongMusicWrittenListeningRadio Author:Steven Wright
“The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.” InspirationalHumorFunnyHopeWaitingSilenceTalkingListeningExpectationsOppositesLuckMemorableCoachingTalking And Listening Author:Fran Lebowitz