“Thanksgiving is the day when you turn to another family member and say, 'How long has Mom been drinking like this?' My Mom, after six Bloody Marys looks at the turkey and goes, 'Here, kitty, kitty.'” LooksLongTurnsMomMembersSixDrinkingMy MomBloodyThanksgivingTurkeysFamily MembersThanksgiving DayThanksgiving ThanksKittiesThanksgiving HolidayHappy ThanksgivingFunny ThanksgivingThanksgiving FunnyThanksgiving Thank YouLove ThanksgivingThanksgiving GreetingsFunny Happy ThanksgivingThanksgiving LoveFamily ThanksgivingThanksgiving WishesThanksgiving And FamilyThanksgiving And LoveThanksgiving FamilyFunny Thanksgiving DayHappy Thanksgiving WishesFriends ThanksgivingThanksgiving TurkeyHappy Thanksgiving LoveTurkeys On ThanksgivingTurkey DayThanksgiving JokesDay After ThanksgivingHappy Thanksgiving Greetings Author:David Letterman
“The media tends to portray the teenage world as one where drinking and sex is taken for granted. In fact, I think most teenagers don't drink, are unsure of themselves, and feel awkward around members of the opposite sex.” ThinkingWorldFeelsFactsSexTakenMediaDrinkMembersOppositesDrinkingGrantedTeenagerAwkwardTeenageTaken For GrantedUnsure Author:Louis Sachar
“You know, Sarah Palin is the Governor of Alaska, you know that. And she's a lifelong member of the National Rifle Association. So great, is what I'm thinking, another vice president that shoots a drinking buddy; just get ready.” ThinkingKnowsPresidentReadyMembersDrinkingVicesAssociationGovernorsBuddyLifelongAlaskaVice PresidentRiflesPalinDrinking Buddy Author:David Letterman
“What are a genuine pain in the ass are all the misconceptions and outright lies. I read somewhere that in 2004 I was homeless in Seattle and drinking heavily, which came as a shock since I've never been homeless and haven't had a drink since 1982. I've also heard SEVERAL times that I'm a card-carrying member of several white-supremacist groups, when the last group I belonged to was the Boy Scouts.” PainLastsLyingWhiteBoysHeardGroupsHavensDrinkMembersDrinkingGenuineAssCardsShockHomelessMisconceptionSeattleBoy Scout Author:Jim Goad
“Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.” LifeHumorFunnyPoliticalPoliticsLibertyMembersDrinkingCongressWittyLibertarianIdiotRepeatsSarcasticGoverningFreedom And LibertyProhibitionFreedom LibertyProperty RightsLimited GovernmentFunny RelationshipPoisonousPolitical HumorLimiting GovernmentLibertarian PartyLimited FreedomPolitical WillGreat LibertarianFunny PoliticalLimiting FreedomGreat PoliticalGovernment And PoliticsGovernment PoliticsPolitics FunnyFunny PoliticianLegislative BranchDark SarcasmAnti PoliticalBest PoliticalPolitical Wisdom Author:Mark Twain