“I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor, just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!” IfsMeanHolyRoundsPeasantsEmperorAutonomousHoly GrailMonty Author:Graham Chapman
“I have gone into town to buy a few last things we need for the expedition: Peruvian wasp repellent, toothbrushes, canned peaches, and a fireproof canoe. It will take a while to find the peaches, so don't expect me back until dinnertime. Stephano, Gustav's replacement, will arrive today by taxi. Please make him feel welcome. As you know, it is only two days until the expedition, so please work very hard today. Your giddy uncle, Monty” KnowsNeedsFeelsTwoHardTodayLastsGonePleaseTownsWelcomeUnclesTaxiTwo DaysPeachesReplacementsExpeditionsGiddyMontyWaspsToothbrushesPeruvians Author:Daniel Handler
“If only Uncle Monty knew what we know," Violet said, "and Stephano knew that he knew what we know. But Uncle Monty doesn't know what we know, and Stephano knows that he doesn't know what we know." "I know," Klause said. "I know you know," Violet said” IfsKnowsSaidUnclesVioletMonty Author:Daniel Handler
“You know, there are many people in the country today who, through no fault of their own, are sane. Some of them were born sane. Some of them became sane later in their lives.” PeopleKnowsCountryTodayBornFaultsSaneMonty Author:Graham Chapman
“The middle way is still driving on the wrong side of the road; it still permits the killing of the fox for pleasure. One cannot kill half a fox. Like Monty Python parrot, a fox torn apart by hounds remains dead, deceased and off its perch for ever. Before the fox has been dispatched - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly - it will have suffered the agonies of the pursuit by animals four times its size and four times its strength. The middle way is a compromise that still seriously compromises the welfare of the fox.” WayHas BeensStillsSometimesSidesPleasureAnimalHalfFourMiddleRemainsKillingSizeDrivingPursuitCompromiseWelfarePermitHuntingAgonyFoxesTornAnd OffHoundsParrotsPythonDeceasedMontyTorn ApartMiddle WayDriving On Author:Lyndon Harrison, Baron Harrison
“What have the Romans ever done for us?” DoneHoly GrailSanitationMontyRhetorical Question Author:John Cleese
“I cut down trees, I skip and jump, I like to press wild flowers. I put on women's clothing and hang around in bars.” CuttingTreeFlowerPressesBarsClothingsSkipMonty Author:Michael Palin
“First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more-no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.” FirstsTwoHandsThreeNumbersFiveFourHolyThirdsSightFoePinsCountingNaughtyGrenadeHoly GrailMontySnuffNumber ThreeAntiochGalahad Author:Michael Palin
“A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat!” BlindBatsCircusNudgeMontyNudge Nudge Book:Monty Python Live! Source: Monty Python Live!
“The great thing about university is that they incline you to get up and do it, from the Classics to modern plays, to the humor that Monty Pythons made popular.” MadePlayHumorModernUniversityGreat ThingsGet UpPopular SongInclinePythonMonty Author:Michael York
“This thought-provoking novel portrays the absurdity of our overbearing government bureaucracy with a story that is entertaining and fast-paced. The Taxman Cometh will become part of our national dialogue about taxes and freedom. And it’s funny as hell. Author Jim Greenfield is a cross between Ayn Rand and Monty Python. If enough people read this hilarious ‘man versus state’ book, the IRS will be put out of business, which is okay with me.” PeopleIfsMenBookStatesEnoughStoriesGovernmentNovelHellTaxesCrossesOkayDialogueThought ProvokingEntertainingProvokingAbsurdityBureaucracyVersusFast PacedIrsPythonMontyGovernment BureaucracyOverbearingFunny As Hell Author:Grover Norquist
“Head coach of the England team demands management skills that Brian does not have. We had a head coach who wanted one thing, other coaches who wanted other things. The players hadn't a clue what was going on. Somehow we'd managed to turn our World Cup campaign into a Monty Python sketch - called The Life of Brian.” WorldDoeWantedTurnsPlayerOne ThingTeamSkillsDemandEnglandManagementCoachesCampaignsCupsOur WorldClueRugbyWorld CupBrianPythonMontyHead CoachesManagement Skills Author:Lawrence Dallaglio
“No day of my life passes without someone saying the words 'Monty Python' to me. It's not bad.” PythonMonty Author:Eric Idle
“One night, I pissed into an empty wine bottle so I could continue watching Monty Python, and suddenly thought 'I've never tasted my own piss,' so I drank a little. It looked just like Orvieto Classico and tasted of nearly nothing” LittlesNightMy OwnEmptyWineBottlesDrankOne NightPythonMonty Author:Brian Eno
“I love 'Monty Python,' 'Black Adder,' 'Fawlty Towers'. I'm a huge fan of British comedy.” BlackComedyFansHugeBritishTowersPythonMontyAddersBritish ComedyFawlty Towers Author:Isla Fisher
“But as a kid, I loved 'Monty Python.' My Dad was a devout watcher. We used to watch it when we ate dinner!” KidsUsedWatchesDadMy DadDinnerWatchersPythonMonty Author:Wes Bentley
“My favorite work is The Full Monty because I got an Oscar for it. But it was really hard work at the time. Sometimes comedy is not a bundle of laughs to actually do.” SometimesHardLaughingComedyHard WorkMy FavoriteOscarsBundlesMonty Author:Anne Dudley