Home / Topics / Old Girlfriend Quotes

Old Girlfriend Quotes

Browse 13 quotes about Old Girlfriend.

Old Girlfriend Quotes

“Just the very thought of someone my age going to visit old girlfriends had instant appeal.Even women think, 'That would be interesting.' Not comfortable, but interesting. It is not a comfortable film at any point.”

Thinking Would Be Age Film Interesting Comfort Comfortable Appeals Instant Girlfriend Old Girlfriend

Author:Bill Murray

“It's so weird to say this about the icon and legend that is Cher, but she's like an old girlfriend. We still talk all the time. She's an incredible person personally and professionally, giving such amazing advice, stories for days, been there done that. She's one of a kind.”

Giving Kind Persons Stills Done Stories Advice Incredibles Girlfriend Legends Icons One Of A Kind Been There Done That Old Girlfriend

Author:Christina Aguilera

“Happiness is when you see your husband's old girlfriend and she's fatter than you.”

Happiness Husband Girlfriend Your Husband Old Girlfriend

Author:Croft M. Pentz

“My girlfriend is named Lynn. She spells her name "Lynn". My old girlfriend's name is Lyn, too, but she spells it "Lyn". Every now and then I screw up, I call my new girlfriend by my old girlfriend's name, and she can tell because I don't say "n" as long.”

Long Humor Funny Names Girlfriend Spells Now And Then Screws My Girlfriend Screw Ups New Girlfriend Old Girlfriend

Author:Mitch Hedberg

“I got married. My wife changed her name. I know some women have a problem with that. But I wanted her to have my old girlfriend's name. So call me old-fashioned, but this fella does what the Bible tells.”

Knows Doe Problem Wanted Funny Names Comedy Wife Changed Married My Wife Girlfriend Call Me Old Fashioned Fellas Old Girlfriend

Author:Jim Gaffigan

“I'd like to sing you a song now about my old girlfriend. It's called "They'll Find Her When the Leaves Blow Away 'Cause I'm Not Raking 'Til Spring."”

Humor Funny Song Causes Spring Blow Girlfriend Old Girlfriend

Author:Steven Wright

“Many fathers go their entire lives without announcing how sexy their son's old girlfriends are.”

Father Son Sexy Girlfriend Announcing Old Girlfriend

Author:Mallory Ortberg

“There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend.”

People Should Two Lying Relationship Dating Police Girlfriend Policemen People In Your Life Your Girlfriend Old Girlfriend

Author:Jack Nicholson

“Start dating someone who is funny, someone who has what in high school you called a "really great sense of humor" and what now your creative writing class calls "self-contempt giving rise to comic form." Write down all of his jokes, but don't tell him you are doing this. Make up anagrams of his old girlfriend's name and name all of your socially handicapped characters with them. Tell him his old girlfriend is in all of your stories and then watch how funny he can be, see what a really great sense of humor he can have.”

“Hey, I liked my idea of bringer her along, but you already vetoed that idea, so now I'm resorting to Plan B, which is to interrogate her. And I am really looking forward to it. I used to play a game called interrogation with one of my old girlfriends where we-" "That's enough." Cinder raised her hand, silencing him.”

Ideas Enough Play Hands Used Games Plans Raised Hey Girlfriend Looking Forward Interrogation Plan B Silencing Old Girlfriend

Author:Marissa Meyer

“Im such a work in progress at the moment, its crazy, and life wants me on edge, I swear to you. But as long as I dont forget the past, Im cool. One must always be mindful, just like you might forget that old girlfriend who tried to slit your throat, but shes really still hot. If you remember the stitches more than you remember the pussy, youre going to be just fine.”

“I do not have a 24-year-old girlfriend. I have another life altogether.”

Years Girlfriend Insulting Another Life Old Girlfriend

Author:Jens Lehmann

“It's weird, I never wish anything bad upon anybody, except two or three old girlfriends.”

Two Three Wish Dating Girlfriend Old Girlfriend

Author:Carrot Top