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Parenting Quotes

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Parenting Quotes

“What could be said of holding her child for the first time? She felt like the sun has slammed into her. In one instant, she became skinless and new and known. Yesterday and tomorrow broke into separate pieces and shot out apart from one another. What could ever be said of a moment that happened in no language, but in every language?”

ChildrenParentingMotherhoodParentsLife ChangingParenthoodParents And Children
Book:I'll Come to You
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“A certain mother noticed that her ten year old daughter had a driving desire to take possession of everything – to the extent of using lies to claim something that does not belong to her; and besides that, she noticed that her seven year old son would crush an ant or any other insect cruelly and brutally with his foot – as if he were taking revenge on those weak creatures! To deal with these problems, the mother went to a library and borrowed some stories focusing on generosity and helpfulness, and on kindness to animals. The outcome of this is described by the mother in these words, "The story which left the deepest effect on the children's consciousness was that of 'The Blind Cat', which is about a cat which lost her vision during pregnancy; and when she delivered her kittens she had to face the problem of how to care for them, and how to keep them near her." Then she adds, "More than ten times I told this story to my children; and every time one or more of them wept at hearing it. Then one said, in perfect innocence, 'Mom, why don't you bring this cat to our home, so that we help her care for her kittens?”

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Book:A Child Reads
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“It isn't easy, being a wicked stepfather. There are no guidelines. Western literature is filled with tips on how to become a wicked stepmother. Give your stepkid a poison apple. Make her clean the chimney while your daughters go to the ball. Ditch them in a forest and make them find their way home with bread crumbs. Stepfathers don't get an instruction manual. They have to learn to be wicked on their own.”

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Book:Stepfathers Are People Too
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“It's only the human male species that seeks to play the role of a Mother to an offspring. Human males use all their resources and power to aleniate children from being mothered as God intended. Yet, other species such as lions allow their female counterparts to keep and safeguard the role of a Mother in a young's life. How ironic.”

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Author:Mitta Xinindlu
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“It seems contradictory, but if you want your child to be adventurous, you need to cuddle her more. If you want your child to always be close, you need to applaud her explorations. Some children need a little push out of the nest, but never give the shove without an unlimited free pass for coming back home. Children of all ages need to be able to regress sometimes, pretending to be younger than they really are. They need to know they can cuddle with you or check back with you any time they want. Other children will race away recklessly and need to be held in check a little. Don’t hold them back, however, without a clear message that you’re eager for them to try their wings, once they can do it a bit more safely. Otherwise, the clingy children will just cling tighter or stumble out into the world unprepared. Conversely, the reckless child will just rush out even more impulsively or catch the parent’s anxiety and become fearful.”

ChildrenChildhoodParentingRisk TakingChild Development
Book:Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children
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“No matter how old your child is now, try to remember that incredible sociability of infants and toddlers – the way they flirt, smile, pull at our heartstrings. Everything you see now has been built on that foundation. It’s hard to see that happy little guy you raised inside your touchy fifteen year old. But does that little boy emerge when your son is laughing with a group or watching TV with a friend? If so, relax. If, however, you cannot spot any sign of your happy youngster in your older child, if he or she cannot take any pleasure in friends or in a group or is always isolated, then, as a psychologist, I am worried - and you should be too.”

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Book:Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children
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“I learned to compliment children on their behavior as guests in our house from a friend of mine. There is something lovely in having another child’s mother say, “Susan was a great guest. We enjoyed having her.” Complimenting a child honors the child, dignifies the child’s visit, and makes him or her self-conscious of having been a guest all along. Many parents don’t realize it, but complimenting a child also makes him or her aware that there is a process of evaluation going on in the host parent. That is to say, if a child is accustomed to hearing a compliment and doesn’t receive it one time, then he or she will think about what made it a not-so-good visit.”

ChildrenParenting
Book:Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children
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“Every once in a while, parents give birth to a temperamental replica of themselves, but usually we have to get over the universal, narcissistic wish to have a clone and come to grips with the fact that our children are truly unique. Some parents arrive at that place of wisdom more easily and with more grace than others. It is a help to our children when we get there relatively quickly, so that they don’t have to beat us over the head with their differences.”

ChildrenParentingNarcissism
Book:Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children
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“You should look for opportunities to turn your child into a social leader. Brownies, Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, Indian Guides, National Outdoor Leadership Schools, church and synagogue youth groups, and almost any type of community service opportunities are extraordinarily helpful to popular children. These opportunities allow them to turn their attractive traits into concrete acts of generosity toward others. Good leaders show respect toward other people; good leaders use win-win strategies. It is not enough for children to be smart or to be able to reflect on moral problems. Children need to be put into situations where they can practice moral acts - and that is true of the socially gifted as it is of kids who veer toward the antisocial. We have to give our naturally popular children the moral guidance to make them into true leaders.”

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Book:Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children
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“My one-year-old walks up to me with arms outstretched. I can see it in his eyes. He is searching for something: approval, affirmation, acceptance. The kind that only a father can give. He is hungry for a father's love, for the Father's love. Either the laughter in my eyes, the smile on my face, and the strength and tenderness of my arms will tell the truth about God, or their absence will blaspheme the Father of lights. My son is reaching for me, and looking for God. My son, the theologian.”

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Book:The Things of Earth: Treasuring God by Enjoying His Gifts
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“Any parent would be dismayed to think that this was their child’s experience of learning, of socializing, and of herself. Maya is an introvert; she is out of her element in a noisy and overstimulating classroom where lessons are taught in large groups. Her teacher told me that she’d do much better in a school with a calm atmosphere where she could work with other kids who are “equally hardworking and attentive to detail,” and where a larger portion of the day would involve independent work. Maya needs to learn to assert herself in groups, of course, but will experiences like the one I witnessed teach her this skill? The truth is that many schools are designed for extroverts. Introverts need different kinds of instruction from extroverts, write College of William and Mary education scholars Jill Burruss and Lisa Kaenzig. And too often, “very little is made available to that learner except constant advice on becoming more social and gregarious.” We tend to forget that there’s nothing sacrosanct about learning in large group classrooms, and that we organize students this way not because it’s the best way to learn but because it’s cost-efficient, and what else would we do with our children while the grown-ups are at work? If your child prefers to work autonomously and socialize one-on-one, there’s nothing wrong with her; she just happens not to fit the prevailing model. The purpose of school should be to prepare kids for the rest of their lives, but too often what kids need to be prepared for is surviving the school day itself. The school environment can be highly unnatural, especially from the perspective of an introverted child who loves to work intensely on projects he cares about, and hang out with one or two friends at a time. In the morning, the door to the bus opens and discharges its occupants in a noisy, jostling mass. Academic classes are dominated by group discussions in which a teacher prods him to speak up. He eats lunch in the cacophonous din of the cafeteria, where he has to jockey for a place at a crowded table. Worst of all, there’s little time to think or create. The structure of the day is almost guaranteed to sap his energy rather than stimulate it. Why do we accept this one-size-fits-all situation as a given when we know perfectly well that adults don’t organize themselves this way? We often marvel at how introverted, geeky kids “blossom” into secure and happy adults. We liken it to a metamorphosis. However, maybe it’s not the children who change but their environments. As adults, they get to select the careers, spouses, and social circles that suit them. They don’t have to live in whatever culture they’re plunked into. Research from a field known as “person-environment fit” shows that people flourish when, in the words of psychologist Brian Little, they’re “engaged in occupations, roles or settings that are concordant with their personalities.” The inverse is also true: kids stop learning when they feel emotionally threatened.”

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Book:Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking
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“If your kid came to you while you were busy working and said, “Can you play video games with me?” you would say, “I’m sorry, I don’t have time.” But if they fell and broke their leg or had a nosebleed, you would make the time. You have the time in both instances, but on one occasion you decide it’s important enough to stop what you’re doing.”

ChildrenParentingEmotional Connections
Book:Marriage Be Hard: 12 Conversations to Keep You Laughing, Loving, and Learning with Your Partner
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“Research has shown that anxious children may elicit overprotective behavior from others, such as parents and caretakers, and that this reinforces the child's perception of threat and decreases their perception of controlling the danger. Overprotection might thus result in exaggerated levels of anxiety.”

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Book:The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting up a Generation for Failure
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