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Parenting Quotes

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Parenting Quotes

“The only power that can effect transformations of the order (of Jesus) is love. It remained for the 20th century to discover that locked within the atom is the energy of the sun itself. For this energy to be released, the atom must be bombarded from without. So too, locked in every human being is a store of love that partakes of the divine- the imago dei, image of god…And it too can be activated only through bombardment, in its case, love’s bombardment. The process begins in infancy, where a mother’s initially unilateral loving smile awakens love in her baby and as coordination develops, elicits its answering smile… A loving human being is not produced by exhortations, rules and threats. Love can only take root in children when it comes to them- initially and most importantly from nurturing parents. Ontogenetically speaking, love is an answering phenomenon. It is literally a response.”

“People say the day your baby is born is the happiest day of your life. It certainly is for the dads. Call me crazy if you want, but the day I watched my doctor sew stitches into my torn vagina was not my favorite.”

“Every year when I take my girls in for their yearly checkup, the nurse hands me a questionnaire about their upbringing. It asks how many fruits and vegetables they eat, how much TV they watch, how much I read to them, how much physical exercise they get, etc. Each time I see the questionnaire, I laugh and think, “Yeah. I’m not answering any of these questions honestly.”

“Look, girls, the Easter bunny is here at the mall," I said. "Do you want to go say hello?” Rose peeked over the picket fence around the photo area. She cocked an eyebrow. “Mom,” she said, “Why is the Easter Bunny hiding inside that scary costume?”

“Children who are accustomed to being treated well internalize that treatment and have a permanent sense of well-being. But children whose every need is instantly gratified and who are constantly praised to the skies do not have the same sense of well-being; rather they may feel despair or rage when that gratification is withheld, or when everyone doesn't glorify them in the same way.”

“We look at the way some kids behave and instantly blame the parents, and more often than not we’re correct. The school bully is often a sign of poor parenting. That’s the immediate cause, but if we search for the root cause we have to dig much deeper than that. What on earth in that kid’s head makes it seem okay to bully people? Why are the parents doing such a poor job of bringing up their children? Probably because they didn’t have very effective role models themselves when they were growing up. It could go back generations”

“A reminder, in itself, takes tremendous mental effort by you. It requires knowing what needs to be done, remembering what needs to be done, and reminding someone to get it done, whereas the person being reminded gets off easy. He doesn't have to remember a thing, nor does he worry about forgetting. And if you think about it, reminding and praising is the daily work of parenting children, not partnering with husbands.”

“Imagine that every time you want to leave the house you have to get into a bar fight with someone. A sloppy, exhausted, poorly choreographed display of slapping and kicking. You are in a bar fight because they don't want to be strapped, Hannibal Lecter style, into the back of your car. Fair. Even thought you are technically big enough to always win the fight, you still have to buckle a small but shockingly heavy person at a 45 degree angle - possibly in the burning sun or freezing cold or driving rain - into a chair. All the while vaguely recalling the warning that if the buckles are not in the exact right place then the whole point of putting them in the seat is moot and you've ruined everything. If the straps are not tight enough, or if they are too tight, you might as well just throw your kid on the roof of the car untethered to anything and drive off at a million miles per hour because it's all basically the same effect.”

“KIDS. They know a BRIBE when they see one. They want a PARENT, not a PAY-OFF. They don’t care if you’re Jack-King-Rodeo or Mister-You-Own-New-York. All they understand is time spent WITH YOU or WITHOUT YOU. It’s that SIMPLE.”

“Be careful of how you discuss money in front of your children. Never speak of household finances in terms of lack or scarcity in front of your kids. Only speak of household finances in terms of goals and wealth in front of your kids. Your discussions about money will either enrich them with wealth consciousness or cripple them with poverty consciousness.”

“It is imperative for parents to actively affirm their children’s capabilities, identifying and appreciating their unique qualities. By instilling in children a sense of equal competence and self-worth, parents can promote a healthy, positive mindset.”

“Latency is all about socialisation, making friends, and developing independence; if children are glued to screens, they are at risk of becoming socially isolated.”

“Most kids are raised to do what they're told, to follow rules, to stop asking why. They're taught to stop asking "what if". And this is exactly how we breed generations of human beings who are incapable of being their own persons, who are incapable of invention, who are incapable of innovation, who are incapable of exacting progress and change in our world. Teach your children to ask why, to ask what if, to learn rules but then to form their own rules and to break the ones that do not serve higher purposes. Raise your children to become their own persons and to build doors where none were found before.”

“Stop worrying about what others think of you and your child's behaviour. Focus on doing what is right for your children, and believe in that success.”

“Embrace your beautiful mess of a life with your child. No matter how hard it gets, do not disengage... Do something—anything—to connect with and guide your child today. Parenting is an adventure of the greatest significance. It is your legacy." - Andy Kerckhoff, from Critical Connection”

“When a parent interferes with a child's anger response in these heavy-handed ways [ridiculing, ignoring, isolating, goading, punishing, distracting, hitting, joking], the anger increases and is redirected at the parent: now the parent is the one who's violating the child's sense of well-being by interfering with a natural and necessary outlet of emotion. Most parents stifle this secondary outburst of anger, too, only this time with more force. [...] Instead of allowing the anger to flow through the child's system the first time it's expressed, the parent unwittingly fans the anger, then dams it up. The anger becomes trapped in the little girl's stomach, muscles, and jaw, and becomes an enduring wound.”