“People are kind of upset with British Petroleum CEO Tony Hayward. Over the weekend, he was out on his yacht. And when President Obama found out that Tony Hayward was on his yacht, he was so angry, he missed a putt.” PeopleKindFoundPresidentAngryBritishUpsetPresident ObamaWeekendCeoYachtPetroleum Author:David Letterman
“President Obama, by the way, is, I think, making his first presidential European trip. And while he's there in Europe, he plans to fire the CEO's of BMW and Volkswagen.” ThinkingWayFirstsPresidentFirePlansEuropePresidentialPresident ObamaCeoBmwVolkswagens Author:David Letterman
“Over the weekend, of course, down there in Washington, D.C., they had the big White House Correspondents' Dinner. Do you know who was really funny? President Obama. So funny, in fact, he has already been promised 'The Tonight Show' in five years.” KnowsYearsFactsShowsBigsCoursesHousePresidentWhiteFiveDinnerFive YearsTonightWhite HouseDo You KnowPresident ObamaWeekend Author:David Letterman
“A new survey indicates that Obama supporters love iPhones. So if you have an iPhone, chances are you are going to be supporting President Obama. In a related story, if you support Governor Chris Christie from New Jersey, chances are you love IHOP.” IfsStoriesPresidentChanceSupportRelatedPresident ObamaGovernorsSupporterJerseyChances AreSurveysIphoneNew JerseyOne ChanceChristieObama Supporters Author:David Letterman
“Now look at the crowd. We’ve got everybody here tonight: Black, white, Asian, Latinos—and guess what? President Obama says we can all stay! God Bless America!” LooksAmericaBlackPresidentWhiteCrowdsTonightBlessPresident ObamaAsianLatinoGod BlessBlack WhiteGod Bless America Author:Pitbull
“You gotta love Rick Perry's swagger. The Texas Governor is out there in the Iowa cornfields, unabashedly going to toe-to-toe with President Obama, doing his best to instantly cast himself as the big dog in the Republican pack.” BigsPresidentDogRepublicanCastsTexasPresident ObamaGovernorsPacksToesIowaSwagger Author:Jeff Goodell
“Natural-born American means you don`t have to be naturalized. You were born to an American mother, like President Obama, no matter where you were born.” MeanMatterMotherPresidentBornNaturalPresident Obama Author:Chris Matthews
“I have a lot of respect for President Obama. I consider him a friend. I disagree with him on issues like the extension of tax breaks that Bush initiated. But I think history will judge a President Obama a lot better than many other contemporaries, given the fact that he came into office at a time when this country was in terrible, terrible shape.” ThinkingCountryFactsGivenPresidentBreakIssuesJudgingTerribleShapesTaxesOfficeDisagreePresident ObamaExtensionsTax Breaks Author:Bernie Sanders
“I have my disagreements with President Obama, but President Obama has run an amazingly scandal-free administration, not only he himself, but the people around him. He's chosen people who have been pretty scandal-free.” PeopleHas BeensRunningPresidentChosenAdministrationPresident ObamaScandalDisagreement Author:Mark Shields
“I think President Obama has always been a little bit underestimated. Some of the things he's done with foreign policy have been unassailable. Getting us out of Iraq, killing Osama Bin Laden.” ThinkingLittlesHas BeensDoneBitsPresidentPolicyLittle BitKillingIraqPresident ObamaForeign PolicyBin LadenOsama Bin LadenUnderestimated Author:Willie Geist
“It turns out that President Obama has acid reflux. He had a sore throat, went to the hospital, and they diagnosed it as acid reflux. Talk about irony -- it's not covered by Obamacare.” TurnsPresidentIronyHospitalsCoveredThroatPresident ObamaAcidObamacareSore ThroatAcid Reflux Author:David Letterman
“Yesterday in Florida, President Obama kissed a woman on the cheek after she told him he looks good. Which explains why last night, Michelle made him sleep on Air Mattress One.” LooksMadeLastsNightPresidentSleepAirYesterdayPresident ObamaCheeksFloridaLast NightMattresses Author:Jimmy Fallon
“Sure, this country has a black president, but when you look at a black president, President Obama is left with his foot stuck in the mud from all of the Republicans with the way he's treated. We have moved in the right direction, and there have been improvements, but we still have a long ways to go in the country.” WayLooksLongHas BeensStillsCountryLeftBlackPresidentFeetRepublicanMovedImprovementStuckTreatedPresident ObamaMudLong WayRight DirectionLong Way To Go Author:Hank Aaron
“Intervention in Syria is not an option. President Obama has already helped foment this civil war and supported the al-Qaeda jihadists. This is an explosive region, and more US intervention means more people will die. We should be choosing peace - not a new conflict. More so than anyone else, my supporters know that America cannot afford another unlawful, immoral war in the Middle East. Stand with me and tell President Obama to stay out of Syria.” PeopleKnowsShouldMeanWarAmericaDiesPresidentMiddleConflictEastCivil WarRegionsAlsPresident ObamaMiddle EastSyriaSupporterImmoralInterventionAl QaedaExplosivesUnlawful Author:Ron Paul
“Donald Trump is attacking President Obama's background. And I said, 'Wait a minute, Trump also is from a mixed background. He's half jack and half ass.'” SaidWaitingPresidentHalfMinutesTrumpBackgroundsAssPresident ObamaAttacking Author:David Letterman
“Republicans are always criticizing President Obama for using the teleprompter. Is that a big deal? After eight years of George Bush, I'm glad we have a president that can read.” YearsBigsPresidentDealsRepublicanEightGladCriticizePresident ObamaBig Deal Author:Jay Leno
“Not a good night for President Obama. He lost elections in Virginia, New Jersey, and he's not doing good in Afghanistan either.” NightLostPresidentElectionAfghanistanPresident ObamaJerseyDoing GoodVirginiaNew JerseyGood Night Author:Jay Leno
“President Obama is a president so weak that he makes Jimmy Carter look strong.” LooksStrongPresidentWeakPresident ObamaJimmyCarter Author:Newt Gingrich
“If I resign any time this year, he [President Obama] could not successfully appoint anyone I would like to see in the court. ... [A]nybody who thinks that if I step down, Obama could appoint someone like me, they're misguided.” IfsThinkingYearsLawPoliticsPresidentStepsCourtLike MePresident ObamaMisguided Author:Ruth Bader Ginsburg
“After Mitt Romney said it would be naive to go into Pakistan to pursue the terrorists, it took President Obama, against the advice of many, to give that order and finally rid this earth of Osama bin Laden. Ask Osama bin Laden is he is better off now than he was four years ago.” IfsGivingYearsSaidWould BeEarthOrderAsksPresidentFourAdviceYears AgoTerroristPursuePresident ObamaFour YearsPakistanNaiveBetter OffRomneyBin LadenOsama Bin Laden Author:John F. Kerry
“The nonsense about President Obama being a Muslim has got to stop. I rise to defend him from this absurd accusation by pointing out that he is obviously an atheist.” PresidentAtheistAbsurdNonsensePresident ObamaPointingAccusation Author:Ann Coulter
“President Obama is going to have to run against himself. In tough times, nobody can defeat himself.” RunningPresidentToughDefeatPresident ObamaTough Times Author:William J. Clinton
“The American dream is at jeopardy. This president [Obama] has defined the American dream as more dependence on the government. We need to restore the American dream so it's more about opportunity and growth and not redistribution.” NeedsDreamGovernmentOpportunityGrowthPresidentDefinedPresident ObamaAmerican DreamDependenceJeopardy Author:Bobby Jindal
“President Obama is the most successful food stamp president in American history. I would like to be the most successful paycheck president in American history.” PresidentSuccessfulPresident ObamaAmerican HistoryStampsPaychecksFood Stamps Author:Newt Gingrich
“President Obama has created at least three jobs that I know of - Bob McDonnell, Chris Christie, and Scott Brown.” KnowsJobsThreePresidentUsaBrownPresident ObamaBobChristie Author:Newt Gingrich
“My theme is going to be: Together we can win the future. The right policies lead to the right results. And I'm going to argue that President Obama will lose the future because the wrong policies lead to the wrong results.” TogetherWinningPresidentLosesResultsPolicyArguingThemePresident ObamaTogether We Can Author:Newt Gingrich
“I was grateful to see President Obama's victory speech. I was over the moon to see the audience. There were about 60 percent white voters the other 40 percent were African Americans, Asian, Spanish speaking etc. I wept at that spectacle, it told me that the pundits that continue in our country to try to polarize us, to keep us apart, are not succeeding. Americans are waking up not only to the truth, but the truth in each other. Hallelujah!” TryingCountryPresidentWhiteAudienceVictoryMoonSucceedSpeechPercentWake UpGratefulOur CountryAfrican AmericanEtcVotersWakingBlack PeoplePresident ObamaAsianHispanicPunditsAsian AmericanHallelujahPolarizing Author:Maya Angelou
“The person you call 'President Obama" and I frankly refuse to call him that... at the moment, he is somebody who is kind of an 'alleged usurper' who is alleged to be someone who is occupying that office without constitutional warrant to do so.” KindPersonsMomentsPresidentOfficeRefusePresident ObamaWarrantsUsurpers Author:Alan Keyes
“The president(Obama) comparing him to a kid in the back of a classroom, I think, is very indicative of the president's lack of appreciation of who Vladimir Putin is. He's an old KGB colonel that has no illusions about our relationship, does not care about a relationship with the United States, continues to oppress his people, continues to act in an autocratic fashion.” PeopleThinkingDoeStatesCareKidsPresidentUnitedUnited StatesFashionIllusionAppreciationComparePresident ObamaClassroomOur RelationshipPutinColonelsKgb Author:John McCain
“President Obama has shown he has the vision to support average consumers and taxpayers.” PresidentVisionSupportAverageConsumersPresident ObamaTaxpayers Author:Austin Ligon
“As a businessman, I know President Obama understands what it takes to spark economic growth, because I have seen him in action.” KnowsActionGrowthPresidentEconomicSparksPresident ObamaBusinessmanEconomic Growth Author:Austin Ligon
“I have, as you know, the utmost respect for President Obama as a person.” KnowsPersonsPresidentPresident Obama Author:Mohamed ElBaradei
“President Obama filled out his March Madness bracket. You can tell Obama's mind is elsewhere because his top two picks were Israel and Iran.” MindTwoPresidentPicksMadnessFilledIsraelIranMarchPresident ObamaElsewhereBracketsFilled Out Author:Conan O'Brien
“President Obama has decided that he wants his presidential library to be in Chicago, not Hawaii. Today Hawaii's governor said, 'Great, who's going to want to come to Hawaii now?'” WantSaidTodayPresidentDecidedLibraryPresidentialChicagoPresident ObamaGovernorsHawaii Author:Conan O'Brien
“President Obama has appointed a new head of the Secret Service. The new Secret Service director was so excited that he jumped over the White House fence for joy.” JoyHousePresidentWhiteSecretDirectorsExcitedWhite HousePresident ObamaFenceSecret Service Author:Conan O'Brien
“Today President Obama is in the Middle East. He met the new king of Saudi Arabia. Obama also met Saudi Arabia's first lady, the second lady, third lady, and fourth lady.” FirstsTodayPresidentMiddleKingsMetsThirdsEastPresident ObamaMiddle EastFourthArabiaSaudi ArabiaSaudisFirst Lady Author:Conan O'Brien
“In a speech today, President Obama said that Michelle Obama is very strong and talented and she frequently tells him that he is wrong. As a result, Michelle Obama is now the Republican front-runner for 2016.” SaidTodayStrongPresidentResultsFrontsRepublicanSpeechPresident ObamaVery StrongRunners Author:Conan O'Brien
“President Obama said the small drone that flew over the White House fence yesterday could be bought at any RadioShack. After hearing this, the RadioShack CEO said, 'I'm shocked to find out we still sell something people want.'” PeopleWantSaidStillsHousePresidentWhiteSellsHearingYesterdayWhite HousePresident ObamaCeoShockedFenceFlewDrones Author:Conan O'Brien
“At the State of the Union address last night, President Obama made history by using the words transgender, lesbian, and bisexual in that speech. It was the part of the speech where he was just reading Craigslist personals.” MadeStatesLastsNightReadingPresidentSpeechUnionsAddressesPresident ObamaLast NightTransgenderBisexualCraigslist Author:Conan O'Brien
“A congressman sent a tweet that compared president Obama to Adolf Hitler. He has now apologized. It's not helping that he apologized to Hitler.” HelpingPresidentPresident ObamaTweetCongressman Author:Conan O'Brien
“A congressman from Texas sent out a tweet comparing President Obama to Hitler. That is ridiculous because at this point in his career Hitler had a much higher approval rating.” PresidentCareersHigherRidiculousCompareTexasPresident ObamaApprovalTweetRatingCongressmanApproval Rating Author:Conan O'Brien
“President Obama announced that he's going to reopen diplomatic relations with Cuba. He wants to act before Seth Rogen makes a movie about Castro.” WantPresidentRelationPresident ObamaCubaDiplomaticCastroDiplomatic Relations Author:Conan O'Brien
“This morning President Obama met with Britain's Prince William in the Oval Office. It was a meeting between a symbolic ruler with no real power and the future king of England.” RealPresidentMorningKingsMetsOfficeEnglandMeetingsBritainPresident ObamaRulersSymbolicReal PowerOval Author:Conan O'Brien
“Tomorrow night President Obama will announce his new immigration plan. Obama's favorite part of his new immigration plan is that he gets to emigrate to another country. He's tired of all this.” CountryNightPresidentPlansTomorrowTiredImmigrationPresident Obama Author:Conan O'Brien
“President Obama has pledged $3 billion to aid poor nations. All of that $3 billion is going to the United States.” StatesNationsPresidentPoorUnitedUnited StatesAidsBillionsPresident ObamaPoor Nations Author:Conan O'Brien
“The Secret Service said there have been 40 fence-jumping incidents at the White House in the past five years. Half of them were intruders trying to get in. The other half was President Obama trying to get out.” TryingYearsHas BeensSaidPastHousePresidentWhiteSecretHalfFiveFive YearsWhite HousePresident ObamaFenceJumpingIncidentsOther HalfSecret ServiceIntruders Author:Conan O'Brien
“People in China criticized President Obama for chewing gum while entering the economic summit in Beijing. They're saying he looked like a rapper. Then again, to be fair, in China I look like a rapper.” PeopleLooksPresidentEconomicFairsChinaPresident ObamaRapperEnteringSummitGumChewingBeijingChewing Gum Author:Conan O'Brien
“President Obama and Vladimir Putin are both in China attending the same economic summit. Obama saw Putin and said, 'After those midterms, it's nice to finally see a friendly face.'” SaidFacesPresidentSawsNiceEconomicChinaFriendlyPresident ObamaSummitPutinAttendingMidtermsFriendly Faces Author:Conan O'Brien
“For the first time ever, a black Republican woman has been elected to Congress. President Obama told her, 'You are all set. This country never turns against a black anything.'” FirstsHas BeensCountryTurnsBlackPresidentRepublicanFirst TimeCongressPresident Obama Author:Conan O'Brien
“Kim Kardashian tweeted that she is supporting President Obama in the midterm elections. I think it worked because all of the polls are predicting that after tonight Barack Obama will still be president of the United States.” ThinkingStillsStatesPresidentUnitedUnited StatesElectionBarackTonightPresident ObamaPollsKimPredictingMidtermsMidterm Elections Author:Conan O'Brien