“Yesterday was the New York City Marathon. The marathon was won in record time by a Democrat candidate running away from President Obama.” RunningPresidentCitiesRecordsNew YorkDemocratYesterdayCandidatesNew York CityPresident ObamaRunning AwayMarathon Author:Conan O'Brien
“President Obama and his wife are going to Kenya. Donald Trump said, 'While you're there, pick up your birth certificate.'” SaidPresidentWifeTrumpBirthPicksPresident ObamaKenyaCertificatesBirth Certificate Author:David Letterman
“It was announced that President Obama and his wife, when they're finished in Washington, are moving to New York City. The guy just can't get enough gridlock.” EnoughMovingGuyPresidentCitiesWifeNew YorkFinishedNew York CityPresident ObamaGridlock Author:David Letterman
“President Obama's trying to work out a nuclear deal with Iran, and the Republicans are steamed. They got together and sent Iran a letter about the nuclear deal. They said if this doesn't work, by God, they're going to send Seth Rogen and James Franco.” IfsTryingSaidTogetherPresidentDealsRepublicanLettersWork OutNuclearIranPresident ObamaThey SaidFranco Author:David Letterman
“One of the dogs in the competition, a Portuguese Water Dog, is related to President Obama's dog, Bo. But they only see each other at funerals and weddings.” PresidentWaterDogCompetitionRelatedFuneralPresident ObamaPortuguese Author:David Letterman
“President Obama and his family are spending the holidays in Hawaii, and while they're gone, they got a fence jumper to house sit. Tomorrow, he will be in Hawaii playing golf with Raul Castro and the Pope.” HousePresidentGoneTomorrowGolfSpendingHolidayPresident ObamaPopeFenceHawaiiCastroPlaying GolfJumpers Author:David Letterman
“You probably heard about the big prisoner swap with Cuba. A man who has been incarcerated in Havana for five years is back home in the United States. And we sent them some prisoners. The deal still has to be approved by President Obama and Bud Selig.” MenYearsHas BeensStillsStatesHomeBigsPresidentUnitedDealsUnited StatesFiveHeardFive YearsPrisonerPresident ObamaCubaBudBack HomeApprovedHavana Author:David Letterman
“Once you're president, you can't go anywhere without causing trouble. President Obama shows up in China, he's chewing gum, they go crazy. A big stink because the president's chewing gum. And you think, the Chinese are so easygoing about human rights. What's the problem?” ThinkingHumansShowsProblemBigsPresidentRightsTroubleCrazyHuman RightsChinaChinesePresident ObamaStinkGumChewingChewing GumCausing Trouble Author:David Letterman
“President Obama is in China. Also in China is evil Russian dictator Vladimir Putin. They're both in China at the same time. It's like running into your ex-girlfriend on vacation.” RunningEvilPresidentChinaGirlfriendPresident ObamaVacationDictatorExesPutinEx GirlfriendYour Ex Author:David Letterman
“President Obama is in China. Today he visited the kids who make our cellphones.” KidsTodayPresidentChinaPresident ObamaCellphone Author:David Letterman
“What a day. It's 53 and gloomy - like President Obama.” PresidentPresident ObamaGloomy Author:David Letterman
“President Obama has two years left as president. I wouldn't be surprised if he gets to appoint two new Kardashian husbands.” IfsYearsTwoLeftPresidentHusbandTwo YearsPresident Obama Author:David Letterman
“President Obama broke a world record after he reached a million followers on Twitter in just five hours. The only guys not following Obama? His Secret Service agents. They lost track months ago.” WorldGuyLostPresidentHoursSecretMillionsRecordsFiveMonthsTrackFollowingAgentsBrokeFollowersPresident ObamaSecret ServiceWorld RecordsFollowers On Twitter Author:Jimmy Fallon
“President Obama finally has his own personal Twitter account. Even John McCain said, 'Welcome to the Internet, grandpa.'” SaidPresidentInternetAccountsWelcomePresident ObamaMccainGrandpa Author:Jimmy Fallon
“Even the White House is weighing in on the deflate-gate scandal. Yesterday they encouraged Tom Brady to 'be mindful of the way he serves as a role model.' And then President Obama stuffed out his cigarette and went golfing at noon on a weekday.” WayHousePresidentWhiteRolesModelsYesterdayGatesWhite HouseRole ModelsPresident ObamaTomsCigaretteScandalNoonGolfingWeighingBradyWeekdays Author:Jimmy Fallon
“Senate Democrats blocked President Obama's trade bill yesterday because they're worried it could hurt jobs. It's not an issue for Republicans, since they've all found work as presidential candidates.” JobsFoundPresidentHurtIssuesRepublicanTradeBillsDemocratYesterdayWorriedPresidentialCandidatesPresident ObamaSenateBlockedPresidential Candidate Author:Jimmy Fallon
“In celebration of Mother's Day yesterday, President Obama called three moms who had written him letters. Then kids who made their mom a macaroni necklace said, 'Thanks, Obama.'” MadeSaidKidsMotherThreePresidentWrittenMomLettersYesterdayThanksPresident ObamaCelebrationMothers DayNecklacesMacaroni Author:Jimmy Fallon
“Many believe that Hillary Clinton was channeling President Obama during her recent speech in New York City. She focused on equality, justice, and how hard it was for her growing up as a young black man in Hawaii.” MenBelieveHardYoungBlackPresidentJusticeCitiesGrowing UpGrowingNew YorkSpeechClintonFocusedNew York CityPresident ObamaHawaiiChanneling Author:Jimmy Fallon
“Tomorrow President Obama will host NASCAR racing champion Kevin Harvick at the White House. They both said they look forward to spending an hour or two not having the slightest interest in what the other is saying.” LooksSaidTwoHousePresidentInterestHoursWhiteTomorrowSpendingChampionWhite HouseRacingHostPresident ObamaKevinNascarNascar Racing Author:Jimmy Fallon
“Yesterday President Obama traveled to Jamaica, where he will meet with students and Caribbean leaders. Jamaica's such a beautiful place, Obama says he can't wait to just take it all in, hold it for several seconds, and then exhale.” BeautifulWaitingPresidentLeaderStudentsYesterdaySecondsPresident ObamaTraveledCaribbeanBeautiful PlacesJamaica Author:Jimmy Fallon
“President Obama just made his first presidential trip to the state of Utah. Obama spent his time in Utah just like you'd expect - telling people, 'Uh, no, I don't play for the Jazz.'” PeopleFirstsMadeStatesPlayPresidentLike YouJazzPresidentialPresident ObamaUtah Author:Jimmy Fallon
“President Obama has reduced the sentences of 22 federal prisoners who were arrested for drug-related crimes - eight of whom were serving life sentences. It marks the first time someone has said 'Thanks Obama' but actually meant it.” FirstsSaidPresidentCrimeDrugFirst TimeMarkEightSentencesThanksRelatedServingPrisonerPresident ObamaArrested Author:Jimmy Fallon
“The White House announced that President Obama will attend a summit in Kenya this July. When asked if he's ever been to Kenya, Obama said, 'Of course. I was born - no, bored - over there. There's nothing to do in Kenya.'” IfsSaidCoursesHousePresidentBornWhiteBoredWhite HousePresident ObamaSummitJulyKenya Author:Jimmy Fallon
“There are reports that President Obama and his family may move to New York City after his term is over. Unfortunately, the city is so expensive, he's looking for another ex-president to be roommates with.” MayMovingPresidentTermCitiesNew YorkExpensiveReportsNew York CityPresident ObamaExesRoommate Author:Jimmy Fallon
“Yesterday, the White House confirmed that President Obama will meet with Pope Francis during his visit in September. Some experts are wondering if they'll discuss their disagreement over contraception. Then Joe Biden said, 'I didn't even know they were dating.'” IfsKnowsSaidHousePresidentWhiteWonderDatingYesterdayExpertsWhite HousePresident ObamaSeptemberPopeDisagreementContraceptionBiden Author:Jimmy Fallon
“President Obama recently sat down with ESPN and said the NCAA should reduce the shot clock for basketball games. Then he said, 'And while we're at it, is there any way they can reduce the 'being president clock?'” WayShouldSaidGamesPresidentBasketballShotsClockSatPresident ObamaBasketball GameNcaaEspn Author:Jimmy Fallon
“During his weekly address to the nation, President Obama discussed higher education and said, 'The most important skill you can sell is your knowledge.' Or as English majors working at Starbucks put it, 'No it's not.'” SaidImportantNationsPresidentHigherSkillsMajorsSellsAddressesPresident ObamaHigher EducationStarbucksEnglish Major Author:Jimmy Fallon
“This weekend President Obama attended the annual Gridiron Club Dinner, and during his speech he joked that he is getting older and crankier. Which explains why he announced he no longer supports President Obama.” PresidentSupportSpeechClubsDinnerPresident ObamaWeekendGetting OldGetting OlderAnnualsGridiron Author:Jimmy Fallon
“A tell-all book by David Axelrod, one of President Obama's former strategists, reveals that Obama chose Joe Biden as his VP because of his energy and enthusiasm. You know, the qualities you look for in someone whose main job is traveling to state funerals.” KnowsLooksBookStatesJobsEnergyPresidentQualityEnthusiasmFormerFuneralPresident ObamaStrategistBidenEnergy And Enthusiasm Author:Jimmy Fallon
“President Obama unveiled a $4 trillion budget for 2016 that would increase taxes on the wealthy and spend more money on education. He also made a snowball and put it in the oven, just to see which would last longer, his budget or the snowball.” MadeLastsPresidentTaxesIncreaseBudgetsWealthyPresident ObamaMore MoneyOvensSnowball Author:Jimmy Fallon
“President Obama said that if he could have any superpower, he'd want the ability to speak any language. That's so everyone in the world could tell him he picked one of the lamest possible superpowers.” IfsWorldWantSaidSpeakLanguagePresidentAbilityPresident ObamaSuperpowerAbility To Speak Author:Jimmy Fallon
“The U.S. is re-establishing relations with Cuba. But before President Obama can lift the embargo, it will need approval from the Republican-controlled Congress - or as Republicans who called Obama said, 'Close, but no cigar.'” NeedsSaidPresidentRepublicanRelationCongressLiftsControlledPresident ObamaApprovalCubaCigarEmbargo Author:Jimmy Fallon
“During a recent interview, President Obama revealed that his favorite movie this year was 'Boyhood.' It makes sense. If there's one thing Obama can identify with, it's aging several years over the course of a couple of hours.” IfsYearsCoursesPresidentHoursOne ThingCoupleAgingMake SenseInterviewsPresident ObamaBoyhood Author:Jimmy Fallon
“In an interview, President Obama said he recently deejayed a small dance party at the White House. Obama has a lot in common with deejays. He takes requests and then completely ignores them.” SaidHousePresidentWhitePartyCommonInterviewsWhite HousePresident ObamaRequestDance PartyDeejays Author:Jimmy Fallon
“President Obama recently said that his day is all about politics, so in the mornings he likes to watch ESPN. So if you get the feeling he's repeating himself every half hour, that's where he learned it from.” IfsSaidFeelingsPresidentHoursHalfWatchesMorningLikesPresident ObamaHalf HoursEspn Author:Jimmy Fallon
“The heroic New York doctor who caught Ebola has been declared Ebola free. President Obama called the doctor to thank him for his selflessness and compassion. Then to be safe, Obama threw his phone in a trash can and lit it on fire.” Has BeensPresidentCompassionFireNew YorkSafeDoctorsPhonesCaughtPresident ObamaHeroicSelflessnessLitTrashDoctor WhoEbolaTrash Cans Author:Jimmy Fallon
“After President Obama announced his support for net neutrality yesterday, Texas Senator Ted Cruz tweeted that 'Net neutrality is Obamacare for the Internet.' While Ted Cruz continues to be the Taylor Swift of not getting over Obamacare.” PresidentSupportInternetYesterdayTexasPresident ObamaSenatorsObamacareNeutralityCruzNet Neutrality Author:Jimmy Fallon
“President Obama is in China now for an economic summit in Beijing. The president wore a traditional purple silk shirt along with Chinese President Xi Jinping and Vladimir Putin. That's after they taught Putin how to put a shirt ON.” PresidentEconomicTaughtChinaTraditionalChineseShirtsPresident ObamaPurpleSummitPutinSilkBeijing Author:Jimmy Fallon
“Both President Obama and former President George W. Bush were interviewed on 'Face the Nation' over the weekend. President Bush said there's a 50 percent chance his brother Jeb will run for president in 2016. Then he said, 'But there's an 80 percent chance he won't.'” SaidRunningFacesNationsPresidentChanceBrotherPercentFormerPresident ObamaWeekendPresident BushPresident George W Bush Author:Jimmy Fallon
“It was the 60th anniversary of 'Face the Nation.' During his interview, President Obama said, 'Our country doesn't fear the future. We grab it.' Nothing says you grab the future like going on a 60-year-old show hosted by a 77-year-old-man to speak to a 90-year-old audience.” MenYearsSaidCountryShowsFacesSpeakNationsPresidentAudienceOur CountryInterviewsOld ManPresident Obama Author:Jimmy Fallon
“Now that the midterm elections are over, President Obama has invited congressional leaders from both parties to a meeting at the White House tomorrow. When asked if he's nervous, Obama said, 'Oh, I'm not going to be there. I just invited them over. They can figure it out themselves.'” IfsSaidHousePresidentWhitePartyLeaderFiguresTomorrowElectionMeetingsNervousWhite HousePresident ObamaInvitedMidtermsMidterm Elections Author:Jimmy Fallon
“After Michael Jordan recently criticized President Obama's golf game, Obama responded by saying that Jordan should spend more time thinking about his basketball team, the Charlotte Hornets. Then Jordan said, 'Do you really want to talk about whose team got crushed this week?'” ThinkingWantShouldSaidGamesPresidentWeekTeamBasketballGolfMore TimePresident ObamaCrushedJordanCharlotteBasketball TeamGolf GameHornets Author:Jimmy Fallon
“President Obama spent Election Day away from any press coverage, attending closed-door meetings inside the White House. But on the bright side, it is nice to see some doors actually closed at the White House. It's a whole new Secret Service security thing.” WholeHouseSidesPresidentWhiteSecretNiceDoorsSecurityElectionPressesMeetingsWhite HousePresident ObamaCoverageAttendingClosed DoorsElection DayBright SideSecret Service Author:Jimmy Fallon
“During a speech on Sunday, President Obama said to the crowd, 'We've got to vote. Vote. Vote. Vote. Vote. Vote.' This went on for an hour until someone finally fixed his teleprompter.” SaidPresidentHoursSpeechVoteCrowdsFixedSundayPresident Obama Author:Jimmy Fallon
“Today Prince William went to Washington, D.C., and he met with President Obama. He said, 'It feels weird being in the White House because I'm not an American.' And then Prince William said, 'Yeah, me too.'” FeelsSaidTodayHousePresidentWhiteMetsYeahWhite HousePresident Obama Author:Craig Ferguson
“Democrats in state legislatures are at their lowest level since the 1920s. President Obama has a can't-miss strategy to save the party in 2016. He's leaving.” StatesPresidentLevelsPartyMissingStrategyDemocratLeavingPresident ObamaLowestLegislatureState Legislatures Author:Craig Ferguson
“We made history when President Obama appointed Sonia Sotomayor, a proud Latina, the first Hispanic Supreme Court justice. And as the President likes to say, 'Every single one of them wasn't just the best Latino for the job, but the best person for the job.'” FirstsPersonsMadeJobsPresidentJusticeProudCourtSupremeLikesPresident ObamaSupreme CourtLatinoHispanicLatinaBest PersonSupreme Court JusticeCourt Justice Author:Charlie Gonzalez
“President Obama was the first president not to abide by the limits in the general election.” FirstsPresidentLimitsElectionPresident ObamaGeneral Elections Author:David Brooks
“What Lincoln did is he gathered people around him the way that I believe President Obama is doing by calling Republicans, talking to them, trying to work with them. And when that happens, big things get solved.” PeopleWayTryingBelieveBigsHappensI BelievePresidentTalkingCallingRepublicanPresident ObamaBig Things Author:Ray LaHood
“In 2012 President Obama didn't go anywhere near African-American communities. Why? Because unemployment was so high there, he didn't want to address it.” WantPresidentCommunityAfrican AmericanAddressesPresident ObamaUnemployment Author:Rudy Giuliani