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Trouble Quotes

Browse 5357 quotes about Trouble.

Trouble Quotes

“When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in charge, ponder.”

Humor Funny Business Doubt Trouble Pondering Delegates When In Doubt Murphys Law Delegation

Author:James H. Boren

“I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push.”

Humor Funny Trouble Car My Family Sunday

Author:Rodney Dangerfield

“Freud's theory was that when a joke opens a window and all those bats and bogeymen fly out, you get a marvellous feeling of relief and elation. The trouble with Freud is that he never had to play the old Glasgow Empire on a Saturday night after Rangers and Celtic had both lost.”

Play Feelings Humor Funny Night Lost Trouble Theory Jokes Window Relief Empires Bats Saturday Saturday Night Rangers Marvellous Celtic Elation Glasgow

Author:Ken Dodd

“The only thing that you can get into without a lot of trouble is a lot of trouble.”

Humor Funny Trouble

Author:Bill Cosby

“Sometimes being lazy can get you in trouble. You ever not take a shower all weekend, just lounge around, then you're running late for work on Monday? There's always one person at work: "Something smells like smoke in here!" "Uh, I went to a barbeque on Friday night. Only had 48 hours to take a shower. Busy."”

Persons Sometimes Humor Running Funny Night Hours Trouble Late Busy Smell Smoke Lazy Weekend Showers Monday Friday Friday Night Being Lazy 48 Hours Running Late

Author:Jim Gaffigan

“Two peanuts walk into a rather rough bar, not looking for any trouble. Unfortunately, one was a salted.”

Two Humor Funny Walks Trouble Bars Rough Peanuts

Author:Tommy Cooper

“I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal.”

People Want Humor Women Inspiring Deals Trouble Jane Save Me Liking Someone

Author:Jane Austen

“Whether planned or not, humor takes our mind off of our troubles.”

Mind Humor Trouble

Author:Allen Klein

“If you don't learn to laugh at troubles, you won't have anything to laugh at when you grow old.”

Ifs Life Humor Grows Laughing Trouble Positive Health Laughter Aging

Author:E. W. Howe