“When you're a father you censor yourself. You get just as angry with a child but you don't want to say, "What the filth and foul and I'll filth and foul, filth and foul and, yeah, ya filth and foul face, and I'll filth and foul, foul, filth!" You don't want to say that to a child so you censor yourself and you sound like an idiot: "What the... Get your... I'll put a... Get out of my face!"” WantChildrenHumorFunnyFacesFatherSoundYeahAngryIdiotFoulFilth Author:Bill Cosby
“I'm going to name drop like an idiot now, but Bono rang me up once, right? I don't know how he got my number, but I, ever so stupidly, and obviously thought it was one of my mates mocking about. So I was like, "Yeah, whatever." And it was him, but I even went to him, "That's not even a good Irish accent!"” KnowsHumorFunnyNamesNumbersKnow HowYeahIdiotMatesAccentsIrish Accent Author:Noel Fielding
“They sold me a duvet cover, and I don't have a duvet, I don't think. Then, they started treating me like I'm the idiot. They're like, 'Do you have a comforter?' 'Yeah.' 'Well, you have to protect it!' I had no idea it was under attack.” ThinkingWellsIdeasProtectYeahNo IdeaIdiotComforterDuvets Author:Alonzo Bodden
“Yeah, I’m thinking it’s a reunion or, since it is our classmates, a collection of idiots. Let’s call it a meese. Like geese, only with morons. (Caleb)” ThinkingYeahIdiotCollectionsGeeseMoronReunionClassmatesCaleb Book:Infinity: Chronicles of Nick Source: Infinity: Chronicles of Nick
“By the way, you guys seriously screwed up just now. (Nero) We know. (They said in unison.) Yeah, well, what you don’t know is how grateful your girl is to you. I just thought you should know that you guys are a hero to her…and she thinks we’re all idiots. (Nero)” ThinkingKnowsWayShouldWellsSaidGuyGirlHeroYeahGratefulIdiotThey SaidScrewed UpUnisonNero Author:Sherrilyn Kenyon
“Would you like to borrow a pair of my panties to wave around at the next Council meeting to get the point across?” His eyes flashed. “Got any to spare?” I could’ve picked somebody rational. But no, I had to fall in love with this arrogant idiot. Come to the Keep with me, be my princess. Mourn me when your crazy dad kills me. Yeah, right.” EyeFallNextCrazyDadYeahMeetingsFalling In LoveWaveRationalIdiotHis EyesPairsPrincessArrogantSparesCouncilKill MeMournPantiesYour CrazyMy Princess Author:Ilona Andrews
“Yuki: What could I learn from a stupid cat like you? You didn't even know that Jason isn't really a bear! He's a character in a horror film! Kyo: So what if I didn't know? Like I'd waste my time watching some dumb movie about a bear! Yuki: You truly are an idiot...” IfsKnowsCharacterFilmStupidLike YouBearsHorrorWasteCatYeahIdiotMy TimeWhat IfJasonHorror FilmWasting My TimeFruits Basket Author:Natsuki Takaya
“She keeps asking me where we're going." "Yeah," another voice said. It was Shane, pulling up a chair beside Claire. "Girls do that. They've always got to be taking the relationship somewhere." "That's not true!" "It is," he said. "I get it; somebody's got to be looking ahead. But it makes guys think they're-" "Closed in," Michael said. "Trapped," Shane added. "Idiots," Claire finished.” ThinkingSaidGuyGirlVoiceAskingYeahFinishedIdiotChairsTrappedPullingClaireShaneLooking Ahead Book:Kiss of Death: The Morganville Vampires Source: Kiss of Death: The Morganville Vampires
“Han?” “Yeah, sweetie.” “How do you teach a man not to be a noble, long-suffering, self-sacrificing idiot?” “I don’t know, sweetie. Mostly I shoot them.” “I’ll consider that.” KnowsMenLongSelfSufferingTeachSacrificeYeahNobleIdiotLong Suffering Author:Troy Denning
“So asking you to take a moonlit walk with me, that would totally not work?" "What?" Again that glare. "Go away. Stop being an idiot. I don't even know you." "You're healing my little brother Bowie." "Yeah, that doesn't make us friends, kid." "So no moonlight." "Are you retarded?" "Sunrise? I could get up early." "Go away." "Sunset tomorrow?" -Sanjit & Lana” KnowsLittlesKidsWalksHealingBrotherTomorrowAskingYeahGet UpIdiotSunsetGoing AwaySunriseMoonlightUp EarlyRetardedGlareBowieLittle BrotherMy Little BrotherWalk With Me Author:Michael Grant
“"Are you trying to tell me that you've never been kissed?" I pressed my tongue to the roof of my mouth. He looked so dubious, and his tone had bordered on insulting. "Yeah. So?" "So, I'm shocked, that's all. You're...you." In-sul-ting. "Me?" I asked stiffly. "Yeah. Hot," he said. Wait. Me? Hot? He laughed down at me. "No one's told you that, either, have they?" I could only shake my head. "You've clearly been hanging around idiots."” TryingSaidWaitingMouthsHotYeahTongueIdiotToneShakesLaughedRoofShockedInsultingDubiousHanging AroundNever Been Kissed Author:Gena Showalter
“I know what you want. And I know what you need. But I'm gonna screw it up, yeah, cause I'm an idiot. And I'm your boyfriend.” KnowsWantNeedsFunnyCausesYeahWhat You WantIdiotCuteScrewsBoyfriendFunny LoveYour Boyfriend Author:Jimmy Fallon