“I want to reclaim 'liberal.' I'm a liberal, and I think most Americans are liberals.” ThinkingWant Author:Al Franken
“Progressives, in a way, are the new conservatives. We want to conserve what we fought to build.” WayWant Author:Al Franken
“You have to love your country like an adult loves somebody, not like a child loves its Mommy. And right-wing Republicans tend to love America like a child loves its Mommy, where everything Mommy does is okay. But adult love means you’re not in denial, and you want the loved one to be the best they can be.” WantMeanChildrenDoeCountryAmericaRepublicanAdultsOkayWingsDenialBeing The BestLoved OnesRight WingChildren LoveLove Means Author:Al Franken
“I’ve never understood why we would want to deny all the joys - and the challenges - of marriage to anyone. Which is why I think any loving, committed couple — gay or straight — should be able to get married.” ThinkingWantShouldAbleJoyChallengesCoupleGayMarriedUnderstoodCommittedDeny Author:Al Franken
“If you want a free email service that doesn’t use your words to target ads to you, you’ll have to figure out how to port years and years of Gmail messages somewhere else, which is about as easy as developing your own free email service.” IfsWantYearsUseEasyFiguresMessagesDevelopingTargetAdsEmailSomewhere ElsePort Author:Al Franken
“I want a president who can handle a cream soda.” WantPresidentHandleCreamSodaCream Soda Author:Al Franken
“Asking the question whether the mainstream media has a liberal or conservative bias is like asking whether al Qaeda uses too much oil in their hummus. I might think they use a little bit too much oil; some people might think it's a little dry. But the problem with al Qaeda is they want to kill us. And the problem with the mainstream media is that it has these other biases that are much more important.” PeopleThinkingWantLittlesImportantUseProblemMightBitsToo MuchMediaLittle BitAskingConservativeOilDryAlsMainstreamBiasAl QaedaMainstream MediaHummus Author:Al Franken
“Today I will masterbate! Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written "Today I will masterbate--if I want to!” IfsWantShouldTodayMistakeWrittenShould HaveOkay Author:Al Franken
“If someone hacks your password, you can change it - as many times as you want. You can’t change your fingerprints. You have only ten of them. And you leave them on everything you touch; they are definitely not a secret.” IfsWantSecretTenCan't ChangeHacksFingerprintsPasswords Author:Al Franken
