“If you use a cell phone - as I do - your wireless carrier likely has records about your physical movements going back months, if not years.” IfsYearsUseRecordsMovementMonthsPhonesCellsCell PhoneWirelessCarrier Author:Al Franken
“The right wing has had a radio apparatus for years and years, so they've had minor leagues - they've had local rightwing guys who've become national rightwing guys, and who build slowly, and that's how it goes. We haven't had that. It isn't like we have a farm team.” YearsGuyComedyTeamHavensWingsRadioLocalsLeagueFarmsMinorsRight Wing Author:Al Franken
“For 35 years I was a writer. I wrote a lot of jokes. Some of them weren’t funny. Some of them weren’t appropriate. Some of them were downright offensive. I understand that.” YearsJokesAppropriateOffensive Author:Al Franken
“I know that it's probably not a good idea for a comedian, especially a satirist, to support a public policy group or a politician. This is something I learned only too well years ago when I did a fundraiser for Pol Pot. A few years later I saw 'The Killing Fields,' and I've got to tell you, I just felt like a schmuck.” KnowsYearsWellsIdeasFeltSupportSawsGroupsPolicyFieldsPoliticianYears AgoKillingComedianPotGood IdeasPublic PolicySatiristFundraiserSchmucks Author:Al Franken
“If you want a free email service that doesn’t use your words to target ads to you, you’ll have to figure out how to port years and years of Gmail messages somewhere else, which is about as easy as developing your own free email service.” IfsWantYearsUseEasyFiguresMessagesDevelopingTargetAdsEmailSomewhere ElsePort Author:Al Franken
“My dad didn't graduate from high school, ended up being a printing salesman, probably never made more than $8,000 a year. My mom sold real estate and did it part time.” YearsMadeRealSchoolMomDadHigh SchoolMy DadMy MomGraduatesEstatesPrintingSalesmanPart TimeGraduating High School Author:Al Franken
“The institutions that we've built up over the years to protect our individual privacy rights from the government don't apply to the private sector. The Fourth Amendment doesn't apply to corporations. The Freedom of Information Act doesn't apply to Silicon Valley. And you can't impeach Google if it breaks its 'Don't be evil' campaign pledge.” IfsYearsGovernmentEvilIndividualBreakRightsInformationProtectBuiltInstitutionsCampaignsCorporationsPrivacyValleysAmendmentsFourthGooglePledgePrivate SectorSiliconSilicon ValleyFourth Amendment Author:Al Franken
“When a company is able to establish a dominant market position, consumers lose meaningful choices. You might not like that Facebook shares your political opinions with Politico, but are you really going to delete all the photos, all the posts, all the connections - the presence you’ve spent years establishing on the world’s dominant social network?” WorldYearsMightAblePoliticalChoicesSocialLosesCompanyOpinionSharePositionConnectionsMeaningfulPostsConsumersDominantSocial NetworkPolitical Opinions Author:Al Franken
“Yeah, we shot ourselves in the foot right out of the gate. The guy who ran it at first misled pretty much everybody about how much capital we had. He said we had enough to go three years without making money, and we had enough to go three weeks.” YearsFirstsSaidEnoughGuyThreeComedyWeekFeetShotsYeahMaking MoneyRanGatesThree YearsHad EnoughMisled Author:Al Franken
“We love America just as much as they do. But in a different way. You see, they love America like a 4-year-old loves his mommy. Liberals love America like grown-ups. To a 4-year-old, everything Mommy does is wonderful and anyone who criticizes Mommy is bad. Grown-up love means actually understanding what you love, taking the good with the bad and helping your loved one grow.” WayLoveYearsMeanDoeDifferentHelpingAmericaPoliticsGrowsUnderstandingWonderfulDifferent WaysCriticizeLoved OnesWhat You LoveLove MeansOld Love Author:Al Franken
