“If money can't buy happiness, then I guess I'll have to rent it.”
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Famous Al Yankovic Quotes
“My personal taste doesn't enter into it a lot when I make my decisions as to what to parody.”
“People never ask people doing serious music, 'Do you ever think about doing funny music?'”
“I knew we were having problems when you put those piranhas in my bathtub again.”
“I was abducted by some aliens from space who kind a looked like Jamie Farr.”
“Left all my Beatle records out in the sun, got a coke bottle stuck on the end of my tongue.”
“Until you came along I never dated anyone this low on the food chain.”
“You make me wanna staple bagels to my face, then remove them with a pitchfork.”
“I'm stranded all alone in the gas station of love, and I have to use the self service pump.”
“Kind of wish I was dead. Maybe, I'll blow my brains out, mama, or maybe I'll go bowling.”
“It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World War III.”
“I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem that time that you made it with the whole hockey team.”
“I dated Siamese twins, I slept with Big Foot, too. Get me on Sally Jesse, put me on Donahue.”
“Midget wrestling on channel 3, it costs me 50 bucks a month.”
“Buy our album, were Nirvana, a garage band from Seattle. Well, it sure beats raising cattle.”
“My brothers and sisters hated me because I was an only child.”
“He put Ben Gay inside my jock strap and filled my tooth paste tube up with glue.”
“Maybe I'll make a huge color tapestry from my belly button lint.”