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Famous Darcy Luoma Quotes

“Over the next weeks and months, my daughters had to learn to live without their father, and me without my husband. In addition to the overwhelming, everyday tasks like buying groceries, making meals, and getting the girls to their activities, I suddenly had to navigate the legal system and file for divorce. I had to figure out the nearly impossible feat of owning a small business and solo parenting two active, preteen girls. I learned the hard way that you have to remove the leaves from the gutter if you don’t want your basement to flood. I had to muster the courage to pull the hair out of the shower drain. I had to somehow find the time and energy to decontaminate the entire house when the dreaded scourge that is lice made its unwanted appearance. And I had to do it all with the added anger, sadness, and sheer frustration that these were all things John used to take care of. As tempting as it was to collapse, I had two girls who needed me now more than ever. I needed my business to survive. I had a mountain of legal bills—tens of thousands of dollars and increasing daily. As a business owner, if I didn’t work, I didn’t get paid. Stepping away to take care of my mental and emotional state was a luxury I couldn’t afford. I had to balance what was best for my business in the long term with what the girls and I needed in the short term. I had to get through each day and keep moving forward. This meant I toggled back and forth between dealing with this trauma and running a business. I lived in a constant state of holding it all together, while simultaneously watching it all fall apart.”

ChangeCourageBalanceEmotionsDivorceOverwhelmed
Book:Thoughtfully Fit: Your Training Plan for Life and Business Success
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“Strength is a huge part of being Thoughtfully Fit, and it requires you to be in control of your actions and emotions, instead of letting them control you. Strength does not mean you can’t feel sad, angry, or frustrated, but it requires you to make a conscious choice not to lead with anger or frustration. Having Strength is about honoring what you’re feeling and then thoughtfully choosing what you want to do next.”

StrengthEmotionsThoughtfulControlActions
Book:Thoughtfully Fit: Your Training Plan for Life and Business Success
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“Strength is about consciously choosing how you want to show up, to avoid letting others dictate your emotions and behavior. If you set your own thermostat, you can always be a cool sixty-eight degrees even if everyone around you is at ninety-five. And if you’re feeling a little hot? Take a Pause and a deep breath, then Think about ways to bring yourself down to where you know you’ll be in better control of your actions. Then Act from that cooler place.”

StrengthBehaviorEmotionsThinkPause
Book:Thoughtfully Fit: Your Training Plan for Life and Business Success
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“Don’t talk to anyone. Don’t say anything about this to anyone other than your lawyer. (By the end of the day, I had hired three lawyers: One to deal with the criminal case and a divorce lawyer. And a third lawyer for John.) Don’t answer any questions. It’s going to be difficult, but you have to resist the urge to talk to anyone. The irony of these words would’ve been funny if it wasn’t so devastating. Not talking to anyone was a tall order for someone who has made a living encouraging others (and myself) to be more vulnerable, connected, and present in all relationships. Someone whose life’s work, and true passion, lies in talking with others about things that matter. And now, at the very moment I needed to connect with people, I was told I couldn’t talk to anyone. I’ve never felt so alone, so shattered, and so scared for the future.”

SilenceEmotionsDivorceLawyerVulnerable
Book:Thoughtfully Fit: Your Training Plan for Life and Business Success
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“The months following my husband John’s arrest were like a Thoughtfully Fit boot camp. I had to make many hard choices and deal with crazy thoughts and emotions (mine and others!), so I worked to Pause and Think many times a day before Acting. I won’t lie—it was exhausting. It probably would’ve been easier not to worry so much about doing things right and instead mindlessly blast my way through the mess. But that would’ve come back to haunt me later. Thoughtfully Fit gave me the tools to come out the other side without extra emotional injuries to myself or others. While I couldn’t control what happened, being Thoughtfully Fit was how I recognized that I did control what happened next. That was a source of power: to explore the choices instead of being a victim. It also helped me access compassion and forgiveness.”

ChoicesActingWorryEmotionsControlThoughtfulnessVictim Mentality
Book:Thoughtfully Fit: Your Training Plan for Life and Business Success
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“Working to be physically fit takes time and effort. In the same way, being Thoughtfully Fit—responding thoughtfully in every situation—also takes time and effort. When you’re physically fit, every movement feels easier. When you’re Thoughtfully Fit, you have greater stability in your thoughts and emotions, and your life and relationships feel easier.”

LifeRelationshipsFitThoughtsEmotionsThoughtful
Book:Thoughtfully Fit: Your Training Plan for Life and Business Success
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